Page 84 of Cages and Crowns
“You need to bathe and rest; this can’t be good for you.” He reaches forward to brush hair off my face again and I slap his hand away.
“Nithe, let’s get one thing clear. You do not tell me what to do. You do not control a single thing about me. If I want someone who will manage every second of my day, I’ll go back to Tobias.” He grabs my arm and yanks me closer. Citrus and mint invading my senses.
“Don’t even joke about that. He will kill you.” My eyes widen and I can almost swear he hears my heart beating. My eyes flick to his fingers around my wrist and he drops it.
“Don’t ever touch me again.” I spit before spinning away from him.
He hasn’t returned to our room by the time dinner is over. Both Laenie and Scarlett joined me today. We ate roast chicken and laughed. I smiled for the first time in a long time. And it felt good.
They left after dinner. Scarlett had to get to Emery, and Laenie couldn’t stop blushing at any mention of Erik, who was convinced he had to be permanently stationed outside my door if Nithe wasn’t in here. It took some convincing, but he left with Laenie after dinner.
I’m standing before the floor length mirror in the bathing room, my eyes on my bare stomach. I haven’t gained much weight since I’ve been back, but I feel like there is something there. I don’t want to believe it, but I feel it. My hand rests on my stomach and tears form in my eyes.
Tobias.
I probably have a piece of him inside me and I don’t even know how I feel about it.
“We won’t be able to go to Lenus about this yet.” My head swivels and I see Nithe leaning against the door frame. “We have to wait a few weeks.” I nod and tear my gaze away from him, dropping the hem of my shirt. I can feel his warmth as I push past him. His fingers graze my hand and I yank my arm away from him.
“Don’t touch me.” I snap as I step away from him.
“I’m sorry about what happened before.”
“Don’t be.” I say dryly.
“I worry. I know why you feel the need to train, but I’m worried.”
“About what? That I’ll get stronger? Be able to protect myself? Not have a need for you?”
“Rosie—”
“Stop.” I spin around and face him. “Stop calling me that. Stop pretending you care when you don’t. You don’t have to lie. Neither of us do. We are married. I still love my psychotic ex-husband who got off on torturing me, who you have a need to make a nickname out of. That’s what Rosie reminds meof.Him.” He flinches. “I still think about what could have been if I had left with Theo when he asked. I don’t want to be here. You don’t want to be here. I have this primalneedto go home, but I don’t even have a home. I have nothing.” My voice cracks.
“You have all of us. This is your home.” He gestures to the room.
“No, it’s not.” I shake my head and step back.
“Labisa can be. Wherever it is you want to rule from, we can call that home.” He takes a step forward, closing the distance between us.
“I don’t want to rule. Are you not listening? I don’t want this. I don’t want the crown, or the magic, oryou. I want to be free. I want to be no one of importance. That is why I did this. So when the war is over, I can be free.” My voice cracks and the tears start to pool in my already swollen eyes.
“Well that is too damn bad. You have no choice in this. You think any of us want this? You think Enzo wants to be here? Or Laenie and Erik? What about Scarlett? You don’t think she wants Rhea back? Nobody wants to be in this situation. Not a single one of us!” He yells, his breath fanning across my face. I can smell the caramel notes of alcohol on his breath and for some reason, that just breaks me.
Does he need the alcohol to be able to live with the fact that I am his wife? I’m so stuck in my own world that I’m not considering that he was forced into that consummation too.
His freedoms were taken away.
I am not the only person caged here.
“I know.” My voice cracks. “I know we have all endured the unthinkable. I know I am not the only one who has been through horrible things. I am not the only one suffering. I know that, Nithe. I do.”
“Work with us. Stop fighting against us.” He pleads, his hands grabbing my arms.
“I don’t know how. I don’t know how to not be fighting for my life every second of every day.” A tear falls down my cheek and I turn away from him. Hehesitantly lets go of my arms and I walk to the windows, looking out at the grounds. I hear his footsteps as they approach and then the sound of his soft sigh. A warm hand brushes my lower back and I lean forward, resting my forehead against the glass.
“You’ll learn.” He says.
“And what if I can’t?” I turn and face him, his hand resting on my hip as if he has to be touching me.
