Page 89 of Cages and Crowns
Something is wrong. Something is eating away at my insides, and I feel like it’s going to keep feasting until all that is left of me is skin and bone.
I should tell someone, maybe Kassius. He would know what to do. But do I want him to even try? Why would I give up my one chance at disappearing, if that is what is happening?
I used to tell Tobias everything, but that only got me yelled at, or told I was lying. I used to be open, letting everyone in, but not anymore. I can’t let anyone in.
I shake my head and rest my hands back on the smooth stone.
I have a purpose, even if its just a visual one. I need to give the people hope, give them something,someone, to fight for. But how could I ask them to fight if I am not even fighting for myself.
The nausea pummels through me and I scramble through the window, nearly falling face first onto the ground. I reach the toilet seconds before what little dinner I ate comes spewing out of me.
My body convulses as I crouch over the toilet, tears mixing with the snot running down my face. A warm hand gathers my hair as another rubs my back.
“Breathe, little witch.” He whispers, his voice tired and quiet.
“I can’t—I can’t keep doing this.” I stutter in between ragged breaths.
“What do you want to do?” My back spasms as the dry heaving sets in.
“What can we do?”
“Do you remember what Kass said about your mother? What they did with her pregnancies?” I lean back, resting my cheek on my forearm.
“He siphoned their lives.” I whisper. His eyes are dark, the pupils nearly black as he looks me over.
“Your skin is pale. Your eyes are hollow and lifeless. This isn’t good for you.”
“Are you suggesting we have Enzo siphon the child’s life away?” His eyes soften and he licks his lips. His hand drops my hair, but his other one stays planted on my back.
“You aren’t healthy. I’m worried this will kill you.” I close my eyes for a second, relishing in the quiet. He doesn’t speak, his warm hand rubbing up and down my spine, easing some of the tension.
“Do I have to decide right now?” I whisper, my eyes still closed.
“No, this is your decision. I won’t make it for you.” I nod as his hand slides off my back. I crack open my eyes to see him adjusting, stretching his legs out in front of him.
“I’m sorry I keep waking you up.” He smiles, exhaling out of his nose.
“Don’t apologize. I don’t mind it.” I close my eyes again, exhaustion setting in. My limbs ache from training with Emery. My veins burn from the aether that fails to show.
“I can’t sleep.” I whisper.
“What?”
“I haven’t slept since the first night youwere in here.”
“At all?”
“I can’t.”
“Why?” I crack open my eyes again. He’s leaning forward, his brows furrowed.
“I’m scared.” My voice cracks as I hold his gaze.
“What are you scared of?”
“That when I wake up, I’ll be back on that table.” The whites of his eyes go black, and I can feel the heat radiating off of him.
“You will never go back there. I promise.” His voice is thick, deep, as he fights against the beast under his skin.
