Page 7 of Cages and Crowns
I’m not worth the sacrifices everyone has made already.
The door opens and Lydia walks in with Malia trailing behind her. I asked where my other two ladies went, but it seems they were dismissed after everything. They glare at Davel before making their way over to me. They are coming to bathe me, like clockwork. I don’t offer them a smile, nor do they offer me one. Davel follows behind Malia, producing the key to unlock me. She and Lydia stand off to the side while he walks over to me, his armor rustling.Theireyes harden as they wait, as they know what comes next. I brace myself.
Davel has a smirk plastered to his face as he reaches over the bed. His hand trails down from my breasts, his fingers brushing the hardened peaks of my nipples, before sliding down. His fingers slide against the apex of my thighs softly and he bites his lip and snorts.
Every day it’s the same. He watches Tobias, he touches himself, and then he touches me. Sometimes it is more than this, more than a brush of a finger, but I don’t let myself remember those days. I don’t let myself remember the feeling of him pressed up against me as he has me bent over the side of the bed. The feel of his hands squeezing my sides as he slams himself inside of me. I can’t let myself remember how he told me Tobias would never believe me as he empties himself on my back, wiping the evidence away before anyone can see it.
I can’t, because he’s right.
He never believed me about Jeremiah. Almost to the point of my death. If he hadn’t seen first-hand what he had done, I don’t think Tobias would haveeverbelieved me.
I keep my glare fixed to him and he stops his caress before winking at me. Davel gets to work on the shackles holding me in this position. I nearly groan as they fall off my wrists and ankles, the pressure finally releasing. When he’s done, he slowly lets his eyes trail over my naked body, licking his lips. I force myself to sit up and slide off the bed, pushing past him with shaky legs. His hand grabs my arm, pulling me into his side. He leans down, pressing his nose to my hair before inhaling loudly. I rip my arm from his grasp and stumble towards Lydia, who catches my shoulders before I fall into her.
My stiff limbs protest the movement, and if my ladies didn’t stand on either side of me, I would probably fall. They lead me to the bathing chamber where a tub full of steaming liquid sits. They don’t say anything as I step into the water. I hiss as the hot liquid burns the sores on my ankles and the shallow slices along my stomach from this morning that haven’t yet healed. When I’m fully settled in the bath, Malia gets to work scrubbing the blood from my skin as Lydiadetangles my hair.
I close my eyes and relax, it’s the only time I can. The only time I feel safe. I used to fight.
Fight Tobias. Fight Davel. But all the fight I have in me is gone. All that’s left is a full-body numbness. I don’t protest, I don’t speak. I don’t do anything but exist. It’s the only way to keep my sanity.
I don’t even remember falling asleep, but Lydia’s soft hand on my cheek wakes me up. She smiles at me before helping me up and into a warm towel. They are silent as they help me dress in a deep crimson gown. Lydia brushes oils in my hair and places my crown atop my head. A routine, a ritual. That’s what this has become. Every day is the same. And every day I refuse to look in the mirror because I always see the same thing.
Graying skin, bones peeking through as if I didn’t have an ounce of fat on my body. Dark and puffy under eyes. Burns, cuts, brands, and bruises covering nearly every inch of my skin on the days I haven’t yet healed. The deep welts on my ankles and wrists that seem to blister more and more every day, despite what Tobias does to force my skin to regenerate.
And lastly, the mark on my neck from the collar.
The iron collar is composed of short and sharp spikes that push into my skin. Every time I move, they dig deeper, sometimes piercing through. It’s how he gets me to stay still, staypleasantin front of court and guests. It's thin enough to be hidden by a gown or be mistaken for a simple necklace, but still sharp enough to cause continuous pain, continuous sores.
I slip into my heels and follow my ladies out of the bathing chamber. Tobias is already back, speaking to Davel. He smiles upon my entrance, his tan skin and golden hair looking healthier than ever. He’s wearing his kingly cloak of crimson fur and his usual silk tunic and trousers that are in a black so deep that it seems to swallow all light, pulling the shadows around him like a magnet.
“My love!” He smiles as he reaches for me. I stand my ground and he pulls me into his arms, planting a rough, wet kiss to my lips. I don’t reciprocate,I never do. He pushes me away slightly and I nearly stumble. Cold fingers brush my neck and I hear the clanking of metal before I feel it being snapped into place. I bite my lip as the sharpened points settle against the deep wounds already in my skin. Tobias is smiling, excited by my pain.
He always is.
“We have much to do today, Ela. We have court shortly, where we have to, yetagain, speak to the citizens about their inability to manage themselves. Then we have a special guest coming to speak with us. You might know him as Thelonious?” My eyes snap to his, shock evident in my face. The King of Rakushia is here? That’s impossible.
He’s dead.
“I know, I know. You are probably thinking, ‘I thought Labisa beheaded him’.Well, my queen, so did we. I guess we were wrong.” He shrugs before grabbing my arm and pulling me with him out of the room. His fingers slide down to my hand, threading through mine. I let him.
I much prefer holding his hand than the chain he used to strap to the collar to walk me like one of his hunting hounds. Anytime I would speak, or honestly do anything he deemed disrespectful, he would yank the chain. The only person who got him to stop was Apollo, and only because he damaged my esophagus and I almost suffocated on my own blood. He stopped using the chain after that, but the collar stayed.
“Imagine our surprise when he was found stumbling through the woods wounded and starving. He’s been healing with Pakin the last couple of days, and now he is ready to talk with us.” I turn to look at him and wince against the metal spikes.
“Will we offer him safe harbor?” I ask, my voice hoarse. His eyes widen at the sound of it. It’s been weeks since I last spoke, and I don’t know why I chose today to break that streak of silence. Maybe it’s the prospect of seeing someone who may actually care for me, a family member.
Someone who may be able to help.
I have to hope that Tobias enjoys it when I speak, especially now as his eyes soften. His hand reaches out and he strokes my cheek with his thumb. I can see it in his eyes, adoration andlove. Part of me wants to get lost in his eyes, in the way he’s looking at me, but I know that isn’t the only side of him. Tobias carries masks around as if they are costumes to don when appropriate, and the mask I most often see if not the one he’s wearing now.
“Of course we will, my love. We are going to help him get his country back.” He says matter-of-factly as he drops his hand from my face and threads his fingers through mine again. We stroll down the hallway, servants and guards bowing as they pass. They don’t look at me. They used to. They would stare and gawk, but Tobias stabbed the last person who looked a little too long, right in the middle of the hallway, so now I am just invisible.
“Is it wise to enter a war at this time?” I speak again, my voice rough and weak from disuse. We knew war with Labisa was coming, but it’s too soon. What would happen if we agitated them? If we allowed them to cross the border? What about the innocent lives that would be lost?
“We have no choice, Ela. They will come for us. They will come for you. You were nearly taken once before,” He pauses and turns to face me. His brows are furrowed, and his eyes are filled with sorrow. I know Tobias cares for me, but this act of the scared husband is just that,an act. He himself has hurt me more times than I am even aware of, yet he is acting saddened by the thought of my trauma. I don’t believe it. “I won’t let them take you again.” He slides his hand up from mine to the back of my neck, before dropping his forehead down to rest against mine.
“It is not my safety that I am worried about. I am worried about those who reside near the border, those who do not have hundreds of kingsguard to ensure their survival.” I retort, genuine fear fueling my words. We have too many citizens who are unarmed, who are vulnerable. Would he protect them?
“Your empathy is one of the things I love most about you.” His lips press softly to mine, and I fight the urge to flinch. “Do not worry about our people,Ela. I will ensure their safety.” I nod shallowly as he steps back and continues down the hallway. I believe him. Regardless of our relationship and our situation, hedoescare for them. He cares for Noterra, and I think at the end of the day, he would keep them safe. I have to believe that.
