Page 108 of Cages and Crowns
His lips press into my collar bone as his hand pulls the other strap down.
“Nithe.” I whisper. The strap slides down my arm and the cool air brushes the hardened peak of my nipples. I can feel him hardening underneath me and I arch my back again, pushing myself harder against him. “Nithe.” I say a little louder.
“What?” He responds, pulling back to look at me. “What’s wrong?” His eyes search mine frantically.
“I can’t. I can’t do this if strings are attached.”
“What?” He freezes.
“No feelings.” I repeat.
“Are you telling me, or yourself?” He spits.
“I told you, name only.” He sits back slightly, and I bite my lip. “Nithe.”
“I’m not going to use you like a whore. If I have sex with you, I’mgoing to do so as your husband. I’m going to fuck you as a man should fuck his wife and nothing less.” My face falls and I slide my hands down his chest. I look down, my forehead brushing his chin. I don’t fight the tear that escapes my eye, trailing down my cheek.
“I can’t do feelings, Nithe. I can’t.”
“At all or just with me?” My head snaps up and my nose brushes his.
“What?”
“Nero?”
“You mean the guard I met like two days ago?” I snap.
“The way he looks at you, and you look at him like—”
“Like what?”
“Like he’s a breath of fresh air.” The similarities between this moment and one I had with Tobias is disheartening—is terrifying. My throat constricts and I scramble out of his lap, pulling my strap back up.
“And I look at you with duty.” I whisper.
“Yes.”
“I had this same exact conversation with Tobias about Theo.”
“And which one of them did you fall in love with, Elaenor?” He snaps as he gets to his feet.
“The one who didn’t make me feel like I was an object, like I was more than just the blood that runs through my veins.”
“And I do? What do you expect from me?”
“If this marriage wasn’t arranged,forced, would we have been together?”
“What?” He recoils as if I hit him.
“Answer the question. If you weren’t forced into this and I was just some girl who is your best friend’s sister. If I was just a queen who you assisted in rescuing. Would we even be interested in one another?”
“I don’t know!” I sit back against the mattress and shake my head.
“That’s my point. You see me as a duty as well. You see me as a burden.”
“No. I do not. Don’t tell mewhat I see.” He snaps.
“You go from being a jerk to being sweet. You make me feel powerful and weak at the same time. You make me want to scream and hurt you but simultaneously want to be the one who hurts those who do the same.” I admit.
