Page 67 of Glass and Bone
“Are you seriously telling me you conceived a bastard within two weeks of our union?” I try to remain strong, but my voice comes out in choked sobs.
“We had been seeing each other prior to your arrival, I have not been with anyone else since our wedding, Ela. I promise.”
“Why didn’t you marry her? You’d have an heir already and I wouldn’t be here hurt yet again.” I’m crying now, as much as I try to hold it back. I can’t. Gods, I hate this. I hatehim.
“Ela, I don’t have feelings for her. She was just someone I went to for comfort before you. It means nothing. Itmeantnothing.” He sounds sincere but all I can see is him with another woman. Holding another woman’s child. Lying to me again.
“I don’t believe you. If this is what you want in our marriage, then I have no desire to know how many women you stick yourself inside when you aren’t in here bothering me.” The lie comes easy, and I hate myself for it.
“No one, just you. I promise.” He kneels down in front of me, his face begging me to listen.
“All I’m good for is an heir. That’s all that matters.” I push his arms off me and shakily stand. “Get out. Sleep somewhere else.” I push past him and stumble, his arm catches me.
“No. This is my room as much as it is yours.”
“Then I will leave.”
“Where are you going to go?” His voice is soft as he holds me close to him.
“I don’t know. I don’t have anyone here.”
“Elaenor, stop being dramatic.” He sighs into my hair, and I relax against him, exhausted. “Gods, you terrify me.” He whispers.
“What are you so afraid of?” I ask, blinking back the tears.
“Loving you, Elaenor. I’m scared of loving you.” His voice cracks as he admits it.
“Why? I’m not going to hurt you. I’m here. I’vealwaysbeen here.”
“Yes, you have, but I don’t know how to treat you the way you deserve. I’m scared I’ll hurt you.” He tightens his arms around me.
“You’ve already hurt me, time and time again. And I’m still here. I don’t know why. I don’t know why I even try with you, but I am here. I am asking you to be better. I am asking you to be my husband. One minute you treat me as the reason for a war and the next you are professing your love to me. I’m getting whiplash.” I look up at him with exhausted eyes. He bends down and kisses my forehead, lingering there for just a moment before pulling away, leaving me waiting for an answer. An acknowledgement. Anything.
“I’ll have our bedding changed and then we will retire for the night.”
“Is she actually leaving, or will she be raising your child in this palace?” I ask.
“I have no way to know that it is my child, Elaenor. I have to assume based on our history, but she is leaving. She is being well taken care of by some family friends on the other side of the port.”
“What if it is your child, Tobias? You don’t want to know him?” While the thought of him having a child with someone else makes me sick, it’s not the child’s fault.
“No, I don’t. The only child that matters to me is one I make with you.” He kisses my hair again walking towards the door.
“Tobias, what will happen to Jeremiah?” He sighs and turns back around.
“He will be questioned endlessly. He’s working for someone; I just need to find out who.”
“Will he go to trial?”
“No, there were more than enough witnesses to his attack. A trial isn’t needed, but I am not going to execute him until we have learned all we can.” I nod and he offers me a reassuring smile. “He will not harm you again, Elaenor.” He exits the room, leaving the door open. Three different women come in immediately and begin changing our bedding while I sit on the couch, exhausted. Too much has happened. Too much information has been shared. I feel numb to everything. To Tobias, to my near-death experience, to life. Before long, I am yet again ignoring the advice of Apollo, and I fall asleep on the couch.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
When I awake, the sun is shining and filling the room with bright golden rays. I have a blanket draped over me that falls as I sit up. My fingers grasp the soft material and pull it up to my face. Cedar and smoke. I glance at the settee next to me and see Tobias fast asleep, blankets wrapped around him like a tourniquet. Today is the festival, and as much as I wish to stay hidden all day, I have much to prepare before our guests arrive. I stand and hesitantly check my wounds in the mirror. Surprisingly my face is less pale, and my eyes appear bright and awake. My neck is bruised, badly. I wince as I remember his hands on my throat.
My mind replays the whole thing. His soulless eyes as he strangles me. And Tobias. In my dream it was him, he was the one killing me, cutting off my oxygen. There is no way that is just a dream, it can’t be. I’ve been having the same dream for years, but lately it’s been changing, increasing in intensity. And the man. Who is he? Why does he always appear when I am close to death? Not just death, when I’munderwater.
It doesn’t take me long to have the bath filled to the brim of hot soapy water. I climb in, feeling the burn as the water caresses away my trauma. I take a deep breath and before I know it, my head is underwater.
