Page 4 of Glass and Bone
I glance around before I make my way down the steps and to the path that leads to the wall. My father doesn’t normally allow me to leave the palace, but just this once, I’m choosing to disobey him. In a matter of hours, I will be climbing into a carriage and starting a new life in a new home. With a betrothed and a family I do not know. With a new king to order me around. A whole new world I’ll have to learn to navigate. He won’t be able to control me then.
A chill runs down my spine as a sickening feeling creeps in. The idea of this arranged marriage has made me nauseous these last few days, something about it just doesn’t feel right. My mouth has been dry, and I feel as if I have to constantly swallow back any bile that threatens to escape. I blame the flutters in my stomach on the nervousness and apprehension I feel. It’s a new life, one I’ve dreamt of having, dreamt of living.
So why do I feel so sick about it?
I continue down the short path until I am across the small courtyard and near the palace gate. I can’t exit through there as the guards will never allow it, so I take a quick left behind a row of trees before they can see me. During a large storm last winter, part of the stone wall came down under the weight of a fallen tree. It’s been undergoing repairs, but its height is much lower than the rest of the towering stone barriers surrounding the palace. I found it one day when I was walking the grounds with Scarlett.
I have thought about jumping over it for quite awhile, but fear of what my father would do if he found out always prevented me. I have, however, spent a lot of time lounging and hiding under the tall trees that border the hills. The palace walls end when they reach the hillside, so I was always able to get lost in the trees without actually breaking any rules. It was the one place I could take a deep breath; however I always had an escort regardless. Thankfully Scarlett always volunteered, and she was skilled in keeping secrets. Usually I stay with Laenie and Rhea as well, but they tend to be a little bit more forthcoming when questioned by my father. Due to that, we all mutually decided that my escapades would be chaperoned by Scarlett. She has a mind of stone and has never let him break her; I can’t say the same for myself.
I let my fingers brush the rough bark on one side and the damp stone on the other as I walk along the wall, hidden in the shade. I haven’t been to Noterra since I was a child, but I do recall them having even more trees than Chatis. I can’t imagine living in a place where forests take up the majority of the land.
More than enough places for me to hide.
Noterra also experiences seasons more accurately than our kingdom. With constant clouds, we mostly experience rain and snow, but Noterran summers have been a dream of mine to experience. To swim in the ocean, the water as blue as the cloudless sky, reflecting the sunlight as it filters down. To feel the warmth cascade over my skin as my porcelain flesh is tinted golden in the rays. It’s a dream that will soon be a reality. That thought alone is enough to temporarily calm the uneasiness in my stomach.
I walk in silence for the better part of ten minutes, letting the noises from the courtyard dissipate as I follow the wall deeper and deeper into the mountain. The trees grow denser here as the path takes me around the side of the palace. No guards or workers venture over here, so the loneliness is welcomed. I find the damaged part of the wall and hoist myself up and over using what remains of the fallen trunk as leverage. I land on my feet on the other side, and I am met with a thick wall of trees.
This forest used to be my safe space. I would seek the trees every time my father and I fought, or when my mother died. There was something about the shade of green in these trees that pulled me in. The bright, almost bioluminescent colors that find a way to shine through the dark and dreary gray of everything else. These trees promise sanctuary and safety. They promise a sense of belonging and the wish to be anyone I desire. I don’t have anyone to control me, disagree with my choices, or force me to marry here.
I am simply just Elaenor.
I step through the brush and smile as the tickle of foliage graces my legs, snagging on the billowy tulle of my dress. As I walk deeper, the bustling noises of Chatis disappear and are replaced with the singing of birds, the rustling of leaves as animals scurry about, the wind through the branches that send leaves raining down in slow motion. The feeling of complete and utter seclusion from reality is unattainable in a palace where you are the center of attention anytime you enter a room. I’ve never liked the attention being a princess, or as most believed a Lord’s daughter, has brought. I wanted so badly to be a servant or kitchenmaid growing up. To be invisible. But I will never be invisible.
I continue through the trunks of varying sizes and only stop to lift my head up as a small ray of sunshine breaks through the clouds. I close my eyes as the sunlight beats down on my skin, warming me to my core. Utter peace. I could stay out here, and they would never find me. I wouldn’t be forced to enter a marriage. I could find love, find somebody who makes me feel like this all the time. Someone who chooses to be with me instead of someone who bought me like a prized mare, because that’s what Noterra did. I was sold for lands, protection, and allies. I am nothing but property.
I open my eyes as the sun disappears again. The brief warmth is replaced with a small chill as the clouds regain control. With a sigh, I continue the trek to the lake. It’s fairly close to the wall and should only take a minute or two to get there, but I am in no rush. I want to enjoy this as much as possible.
The trees all look the same, the soft green leaves floating down around me. The forest floor is blanketed in grass and moss-covered boulders. Bushes of varying flower species hug the base of the tree trunks, displaying random colors of pink, purple, and blue to break up the green. Thickly curled birds' nests dot along the high limbs of the evergreen trees, housing the newest generation of sparrows and woodpeckers, birds who don’t mind the northern cold and rain.
I’m not sure what the protocol is like for royals in Noterra and if I will be allowed to wander about, but I hope I will. I can’t imagine jumping from one captor to another. I want nothing more than to be free to do as I please, but as a queen I may not have that luxury. Whether that will be due to the strict reign my future husband will impose, or just a fear of my safety, I don’t know.
All I can think about is the beach, as the eastern edge of Noterra borders the sea, and the new forests that have yet to be explored. I dream about Port Tobeo, the largest trading port in the nation, and the merchants who no doubt have the best wares available. Scarlett has told me of the places she has visited with her family, of the delicious food, beautiful silks and cotton, and the different people she met. I want nothing more than to experience it myself.
My feet are silent on the forest floor, so a rustle to my right stops me in my tracks. It’s louder than would be expected of the smaller animals in the forest. Chatis mostly experiences rabbits, mice, and a few felines, but nothing that can act as a true predator. There used to be bears and mountain lions, but they have long since migrated north to Rakushia after the Chatisian huntsmen nearly made them extinct. Rakushia has more caves in their hills, creating the perfect nests for predators to have a safe home. It also doesn’t help that Chatis is the only country with persistent rain. Even the animals leave to experience the sun.
I squint my eyes and peer through the trunks and brush, but I see nothing but greenery.You’re imagining things.
I take another slow, deep breath before continuing my journey.
I can finally see it just beyond the tree line, and I start to smile. The crystal blue waters are dark due to the cloudy sky, but still inviting, nonetheless. I take the last step out of the trees, and I am met with pure white sand. There isn’t much, as it’s mostly dirt and the forest floor, but the amount that is there always reminded me of the fine texture of the sugar I would stick my fingers in as a child. The kitchenmaids would always make me sweets and cover them in clouds of white powder. I called it snow as they very closely resemble each other.
I kick off my shoes and push my bare feet through the soft, white granules. It’s cool and damp under my toes, but the relaxation that washes over me is invigorating. The soft lapping of the water as the small waves hit the shore make my smile grow wider. I can just barely make out some fishing boats farther out towards the center of the lake, their deep brown wood is a stark contrast to the blue waters. I can’t tell who they belong to as the other side of the lake, that I couldn’t see, belongs to Noterra, and the northern part belongs to Rakushia. All that separates our lands is a lake and trees.
Honestly, it's a wonder why King Evreux hasn’t taken over Chatis. They have armies, and they could absorb this land within a day with minimal casualties. With Noterra reigning over nearly half of the continent anyway, I don’t see why they wouldn’t make the move.
I kick my feet out from under the sand and run until my bare skin meets the icy water. The cold liquid causes my body to shiver, but I relish in it. The last time I was here was with my mother. This was one of our last outings before she died.
My father didn’t like us out much, so she snuck me out one day during one of the only days we had sun. We dressed in common clothes, no sign of finery or wealth between the two of us. She took me out of the servants exit and the side gate in the wall that led to the market. We were out of the walls so quickly; my little brain couldn’t comprehend it. No one paid us any mind as we walked through the cobblestone streets of the town. We were all smiles and laughs as we walked to the docks. She brought me along the edge of the lake to a small, secluded beach where we spent the next few hours swimming and sunbathing. It was the perfect day.
She died a week later.
I promised myself I would come back as much as possible, but I never did. I didn’t dare exit through the servant’s quarters with the increased guard patrol. I knew I could reach it through the woods, it was faster that way, but I never tried. I never allowed myself to go that far for fear of my father’s hand, or his whip, until today.
When the wall came down during a storm, I thought it was my chance to finally go back, but I never had the courage to jump the wall. While I did venture into the woods and up the hills as much as possible, the tether that my father put around me was tight. I used to tell Scarlett how it felt more like a noose than a leash. She didn’t find that amusing, but I wasn’t trying to be funny.
I was trying to convey my pain.
Some say my mother killed herself, some blame the prophet who predicted her death, some even blame my father. I don’t truly know what happened nor do I know what the official cause of her death was. I was too young so I was shielded from such things and now nobody will talk about her. Nobody answers questions about her, or even reminisces over her life. It’s like she never existed, and that’s how my father wants it. Maybe it’s the only way he can live with himself. He is either struggling with the death of the love of his life, or the guilt over killing her has destroyed him. I wish so desperately for a prophet to share the details of that night, but I’m always told it’s the future they predict, and they cannot see the past. I wish that weren’t true.
