Page 40 of Glass and Bone
“Come on, Ela.” He whispers as he pulls me away from the window and down the hallway.
Tobias brings me to our chambers where I gladly change into a comfier outfit. He hands me a glass of sweet and syrupy pink wine that I am finding I love. I had a sweet wine at dinner and casually mentioned how much I loved it. Tobias said his mother had cases of an even sweeter wine and he had them pulled out for me as no one else likes it. I drain the glass quickly, wanting nothing more than to feel numb. He cleans up my face with a wet washcloth before helping me into bed. It’s still early afternoon but being in this bed is all I wanted at the moment.
“Rest. I’ll be back with some food.” He bends down and kisses my forehead and then the tip of my nose. I inhale deeply, absorbing the scent of cedar as he sits up. “Laris and Tano are both outside the door, okay?” I nod and then curl up on my side. He pulls the wool blanket up and over my shoulders before he exits the room.
I was here, in this palace, almost every other week my whole childhood. I don’t remember a single moment. I don’t remember ever meeting Amaya.
No.
That’s not true.
When Evreux had said I looked like her, I thought he meant the queen. I thought to myself,no I remember her having blonde hair and gray eyes. I remember her face, heart shaped and soft. High cheekbones that were always slightly pink. Thin eyebrows that angled around her eyes in a color slightly darker than her golden hair. She had dark lips that matched her deep, olive skin tone. I remember what she looked like and how her brows moved animatedly when she spoke.
So why don’t I remember being here?
I didn’t even know the king had two sons, but I apparently grew up with them. I shared beds with Theo because we were the same age. Children taking naps after playing too hard. Amaya called me her little miracle and we were apparently close. She loved me and I her, but I have no recollection of it. I don’t remember the trips in the forest or the picnics we had by the horses. I don’t remember playing in these halls, being near Tobias and Theo. Being close to them.
What happened the day my mother died?
Evreux said I was believed to be dead, my body used in some sort of sacrifice or ritual, but I remember Kassius. I remember his eyes being bright yellow and him being nice to me. I remember laying on my mother’s lap, her fingers running through my hair while she and Kassius spoke. They were calm, friendly. There was never any animosity between them.
But my father.
He didn’t want her going to Noterra with us. Did he know that she was always there? Did he know that she didn’t want us to live in Chatis? I don’t even know if that’s true. I don’t know ifanyof this is true. But their fight wasbeforemy father, and I came here. Before she even died. The timeline in my head, the one I remember, isn’t real.
I remember my mother’s blood. I remember running into the trees. Then he said they found me, weeks after her death. Weeks after I was supposedly murdered. I still had fresh wounds, with the only thing being different is the water, but I didn’t know how to swim. I still don't. I was never taught. So how did I get across the lake? And why did Kassius murder my mother?
I flop onto my back, sighing. My eyes fixate on the ceiling, the marble shining in the sunlight casting the room in an orange glow.
I remember walking around. The guards, groundsmen, kitchenmaids. I remember them all being happy and smiling at me, but in Chatis they didn’t know I was there.
I remember being in the kitchen with pastries and sugar that looked like snow, but that wasbeforemy mother died. That was before everything happened and I was restricted on my food. That was before everyone believed I died. Did they still think I was dead? Is that why my father is so insistent on a child being born? Why would he want to marry and have another child if he technically still has an heir? He wouldn’t need to.
I am his heir. He is counting on me to have a child. But why didn’t he marry so many years ago and conceive a son, especially if the world thought I was gone? That doesn’t make sense. None of it does. I have no one I can ask. Evreux doesn’t know much, or he isn’t willing to share the information he does have.
What happened ten years ago? What happened tome?
I don’t remember falling asleep, but as my eyes open to the darkness of the room, I realize I didn't dream. Not a single image played in my head while I slept for the first time in ten years. Not since before my mother died.
I stretch out, my legs finding the cool parts of the bed. A subtle ache throbs deep in my belly, but it’s probably from hunger. I roll over onto my side and see Tobias’s dark form huddled under the blankets. I reach out, letting my hand slip under the covers to softly brush his hair, but what I feel is wet. I pull my hand back, but I can’t see what his hair is wet with. Maybe he took a bath before coming to bed?
“Tobias?” I whisper, but he doesn’t move. I grip the edge of the blanket and pull it off of him. Where I expect to see golden waves, dark black curls greet me instead. Blood is pooling on the pillow, turning the beige linen a sickly shade of crimson. I gasp, my hand frozen in the air.
I get up on my knees and peer over the shoulder of the dark form and see pale skin shining in the moonlight. I let my fingers grab their shoulders softly, pulling them onto their back. A scream escapes my mouth as they turn and look at me.
Blue eyes look back, unseeing.Myblue eyes. I’m wearing a pale pink nightdress, blood staining part of it red. My mouth parts slightly and water pours out of it. I scream again and back up, falling off the side of the bed. She,I, sits up and turns her head in my direction. Water continues to pour out of her mouth as she tries to speak, the covers slipping off of her bloody body as she gets up onto her knees.
“Elaenor.” The me that isn’t me croaks, but it’s gargled, and I can just barely make out my name. I scream again and scramble to my feet, running to the door. I open it and see Laris and Tano staring back at me.
“Your Grace?” Laris says his hands out cautiously.
“Your Grace, are you alright?” Tano asks, turning to face me. I’m shaking as I quickly step into the hallway.
“Your Grace, please let us escort you back to bed.” I ignore him as I turn to the right and start running.
My bare feet are slapping the marble as I run. The hallways are pitch black and silent, aside from the sounds of Laris and Tano running after me. I don’t know where I am going, but I have to get out of here. I need to wake up. This is all just a dream. This isn’t real. The hallway ends and I turn left, following another long, dark hallway.
Wake up, Elaenor.Come on!
