Page 7 of Raven's Hacker
Raven:I was just grabbing food. You know I don’t have my phone on me all the time. lol
I still didn’t know how to answer that. Because the truth was that Matt had been cancelling on Ryder a lot more frequently.
Beck:I know. Just don’t want to put any extra pressure on you. You know you’ve become special to me.
He was so sweet. We’ve been talking as friends since the day he sent me that text. He helped me anonymously send the proof of Matthew and Karen’s affair to the desk in the office, at work, in various places in the office. Karen was one of the regional managers, and my ex was up for district manager, meaning they had a superior-subordinate relationship. They were both fired.
Within these last six months, my ex has tried to come back to me multiple times. Beckam gave me proof that he wasstillwithKaren while trying to get me back. Not that I would have tried to get back with him. That was just really gross. But I told Beckam and asked him to see if he was being genuine.
Again. Not that I would take him back, but I was hoping he would at least be around more for Ryder’s sake. But as soon as I hit him with proof that he was still sleeping with her and texting someone else who wasn’t either Karen or me, he left. We haven’t seen or heard from him since, and it’s been two months.
Ryder hated it. We were both in therapy to deal with the loss in our own ways. Ryder, dealing with the loss of his dad’s presence in his life. While I was grieving the loss of my marriage and the life I thought I would have, these things happened, right? I knew I would be okay. I had to be.
For myself and for Ryder.
Getting Ryder tucked in, he had his journal, his bedside light on, and he was scribbling away. His dad didn’t come to get him tonight like he was supposed to. He’d been getting more and more moody, more and more angry. He gave me a quick hug and kiss, going right back to writing in his journal.
“Mom?” He asked as I was almost out of his room. I stopped, leaning on the doorframe as I crossed my arms. I felt my eyes and heart soften as I looked at my baby boy.
“What’s up, babe?” I asked, a small smile on my face.
“You said Dad still loves me. Is that still true? Why doesn’t he want to see me anymore?” I give my son a sad look. I don’t know how to answer.
“I don’t know, buddy. I don’t know what he’s thinking, or not thinking. I want you to be able to form your own opinion about your dad. But, if you want my honest opinion, I think he’s justlost.” I said, pursing my lips, wishing I could make it all better for my boy. I hated that he was hurting during this. It made my mama-heart angry.
And sad.
And hurt. All for my baby. I walked back over, sitting on his bed, and gave him an extra-tight squeeze and a kiss on the head.
“I love you, baby. I will always love you. I’m sorry, I’m not your dad, but we can start doing things you’d do with him if you want. Whatever will help you.” He looked at me, with tear stains down his cheeks, eyes red-rimmed, and I swear I heard his heart breaking as he looked at me. I wanted to punch my ex-husband for making our son feel this way.
“Thanks, Mom. That’d be cool.” He smiled at me.
“Just let me know what you want to do, okay, bud? I’m going to bed now. Don’t be up too late writing, okay?” He nodded at me, giving me that little half-smile with a dimple that he got from me. He was looking more and more like his dad every day.
S E V E N: First Date.
Hacker’s POV
I was so freaking nervous. Ever since she and I had been texting, I’d been talking to Hades and Prez about my feelings. Why I felt the need to protect her and why I wanted to hug her. They also got Doc to do a check-up on me. He figured out why I had heart palpitations when I thought of her or looked at her pictures.
Turns out, I liked her.
And tonight, I was going to FaceTime her. For the first time. She lived in North Carolina with her kiddo, and I lived in Ohio. So, this was the best I could do for now. Until I could work up the nerve to have her come visit, or me go visit her. If she was ready for that. I think I’d prefer her coming here first, so if I had trouble talking to her or her son, or had a panic attack. At least if we were here, my brothers would be there to help me. I mean…they wouldn’t be that close if I were in North Carolina.
“You okay, man?” Hades asked, looking a little concerned.
“Yeah. Just nervous,” I said, trying to smooth my hair down. I may be a white guy, but I had a fro like no other. My hair was in tight ringlets that never cooperated a day in their lives.
“Can I help?” He asked, slowly moving toward me, hands up. I took a deep breath, handing him a brush. I started counting backward from five. Once I opened my eyes, I saw he was behind me, hands still up, a comb in one hand.
“What do you want me to do?” I asked.
“Wet your hair again. I’m gonna use some of the gel Prez has. You know his shit is always smoothed back and solid like a rock.” He chuckled at me. A few seconds later, there was a knock at the door. Before it opened, I could feel myself involuntarily freeze for a second.
“Figured you guys might need some hair gel for that fro! First dates mean making good first impressions.” Prez came around the corner, holding the gel, hair spray, and a comb. We all cracked up because every time the guys came over to my room, it was mainly to help me manage my mane before any kind of BBQ or event with other clubs. “Can we get you all good-looking to meet this girl? Where are you guys going?”
“We’re um…” I cleared my throat as they started brushing through my wet hair, “We’re actually just doing a FaceTime call.” I felt myself blush, looking down at the sink, too afraid to look in the mirror to see what they thought of that. When they didn’t say anything, I continued rambling.
