Page 33 of The Bookseller and the Alpha
“It’s my job to look after you. That includes making you eat when you forget.” Her frown softened as she watched me enjoy the food. Which was delicious. I didn’t tell her that I often skipped lunch. It was cheaper that way.
“You don’t have to feed me,” I said, reaching for the water. I noticed that Akira hadn’t said how much the food had cost.
“I didn’t order it. I’m just making sure you eat it.” I processed her words and nearly choked on my mouthful of water. When I recovered, I looked up at my bodyguard to see that her frown had been replaced with a smirk.
Luc. Luc had ordered me food. This morning, he had bought me breakfast. Now he’d bought my lunch.
Thankfully, I had no time to overthink about a bossy Alpha feeding me, because the doorbell rang, signalling another customer. If anything, the afternoon was busier than the morning. I should have called in my only other staff member, Marcie’s niece Rachel, who usually only worked for me on a Saturday. Eventually, when the line of waiting customers wasfive deep, Leylani had stepped up beside me and started bagging books. By the time I closed the store at 5.30,I was just about dead on my feet.
But I had plenty of time to think about it when I closed the store. An Alpha. Feeding me. Plenty of time to stew on it while I was chauffeured home, via the supermarket to pick up a couple of ready-meals for the next few nights. Normally I liked to cook, but I was just too damn tired. And frazzled. I continued to have plenty of time to overthink it while I showered, then picked at my dinner, with the sound of a football game on the television and Pompy’s snores on the couch beside me.
He might be feeding me. But he didn’t text me and he didn’t show before I went to bed. Exhausted from overthinking and doubting myself, I fell asleep on the couch.
***
I woke early the next morning in my bed, with no memory of how I’d made it to my room. I heard a clatter from the kitchen and froze where I lay, anxiety stabbing my chest. As if in response to my distress, Luc’s voice floated down the corridor. “It’s just me. I’m making us breakfast. No need to worry.” Now I could smell frying bacon and my stomach grumbled. Luc was here. In my apartment. Apparently, he’d let himself in sometime overnight, brought me to bed, and stayed. And now he was in my kitchen.
Honestly, I didn’t understand what was going on. A couple of days ago, I’d been in his arms. If we hadn’t been interrupted, he would have fucked me. No doubt about it. Then he had turned cold. Emotionally distant. Professional. And I’d hardly seen him since, but he’d clearly been thinking about my wellbeing, making sure I was safe. Feeding me. Sending me gifts.Sleeping in my bed.
“You haven’t been eating properly,” said Luc, busy at the range, when the smell of bacon finally lured me out of the bedroom. For a moment I wondered how he knew. Then I figured that Akira had probably told him down to the smallest detail what I’d been eating.
“I’ve been too tired to cook,” I said, distracted by the view he was giving me. He wore suit pants, but he’d swapped his button-down shirt for a tight black t-shirt that moulded to his chest and upper arms. Holy hell, the man was built. Butterflies danced in my stomach. He’d found one of my aprons and he looked completely comfortable in my space. With his hard jaw softened by morning scruff, and bare feet, he looked like a dark angel on holiday. It was unfair how beautiful he was. And all that beautiful manliness was cooking breakfast. For me. I bit the inside of my cheek.
“There wasn’t much in your fridge,” he said, as he served a pile of food onto two plates. “I ordered some groceries.” I blinked. My caffeine-deprived brain didn’t know which part of that statement to latch onto. That he had found my fridge contents inadequate or that he’d purchased breakfast supplies.
“I haven’t had much time to shop.” The words came out defensive.
He looked up, his eyes meeting mine, his dark brows lifted in surprise. “It wasn’t a criticism, Caly.” His voice was gentle. “Sit. Food is almost ready and coffee is on the table.”
I stumbled to the table, dropping gracelessly into a chair. With a hand that only shook slightly I poured two cups of coffee. I needed to get a grip. But somewhere I’d lost control of the situation. No. That wasn’t true. Since he’d barged into my shop, I’d had no control. None. He’d torn the bandaids off my emotional wounds. And, what made it worse? He had no idea.
He had slept beside me for the last three nights. He’d made sure I ate yesterday and now he’d made me breakfast. Hecould be arrogant, bossy and rude. But he was also capable of being gentle and caring. Protective. Envy burned a hole in my chest. This was the side of his personality he would show to a mate. Alphas were naturally strong. Aggressive and dominant. But it all came from a need to protect. Their mate. Their children. Those under their care. Alphas were born protectors. The bigger and stronger they were, the more they needed to care and protect. And it was obvious, even to me, a human, that Luc was one of the strongest of them all.
I grabbed my coffee, holding it like a lifeline as I let the pain wash through me. Breathe. Take a sip of coffee. Another breath. It will pass. He’s not for you. Sam had explained how Luc’s protective instincts were triggered by women in need. I was in danger and he was compelled to protect me. It wasn’t personal. But it warmed some cold frozen part of my heart to have that overbearing protectiveness directed my way. Even if it also hurt like a bitch, knowing that I couldn’t be his mate. He was a Shifter. I was human. No happy ending here.
Luc brought the two plates to the table. Eggs, bacon, mushrooms, spinach. Toast. That was a lot of breakfast. Then, he grabbed the back of the only other dining chair and pulled it until it was right next to mine. He sat down, so close that his thigh brushed mine.
Air. Where was all the air? I kept forgetting how large he was until he was in my space. Large, muscly, and ridiculously hot. The apron did nothing to counteract his raw masculinity. Breathe. Must remember to breathe. But when I inhaled, all I could smell was the scent of his body. There was a smear of butter on his cheek, and I wanted to reach over and kiss it off.
I caught myself just as I started to lean towards him. I curled my fingers into my palm until the pain brought me back to my senses. Remember what happened last time you got close to him. He ran away. He rejected you.
But it had been so good. Maybe we could try again. Hormonal Caly was still hopeful. No. I shoved that thought into a box. A box with a very large lock. I couldn’t afford to repeat that experience. I wouldn’t walk away from it unscathed. But I wanted to. So much. I gripped the coffee mug so tightly I could see my fingertips turning white.
And then my stomach rumbled.
Luc gestured to my plate. “Eat,” he said. Correction. He ordered it. As if he had a right to tell me what to do. And there was that protective bossiness again. But he hadn’t touched his food and he had gone to a lot of effort for me. It wasn’t fair to him if I let it get cold. And I really was very hungry. I told myself that it wasn’t because I wanted to please him but I couldn’t make myself believe the lie.
I scooped up some ridiculously fluffy scrambled eggs and took a bite. Of course, they were delicious. I wanted to hit my head against something hard. Maybe the pain would distract me from the ache in my chest.
“You’ve not been looking after yourself,” he said. “Cereal for dinner isn’t sustaining and ready-meals aren’t nutritionally balanced. Even when you finish them.”
There were so many replies I could have made to that statement. About how it was none of his business. About how I had only recently been released from hospital after my apartment had been invaded and hadn’t had the energy to shop or to cook. About how I’d been too tired to be hungry. My brain settled on the least sensible reply. The one that showed my insecurities. Before I knew what I was saying, the words spilled out of me. “Have you seen me?” I gestured at my hips and ass. “I need to eat less rather than more.”
For a moment, Luc’s eyes flashed blue. “Baby, your body is perfect and I’ve not seen nearly enough of it.” His voice was almost a purr and it shot straight to my core. I almost choked onmy bacon. Great gods. It was suddenly very warm in here. My nipples pebbled, and the fabric of my robe rasped against them. Warmth pooled in my groin and I pushed my thighs together.
No. I couldn’t do this again. I couldn’t let that voice… or… those eyes… or… those forearms seduce me again. I needed to stop this train wreck before it was too late. I straightened my spine and put up a hand. “Just hold on a minute. We need to talk.”
Chapter 38
