Page 49 of Only for Me
I miss Omiri.
I said the words in my head but refused to acknowledge them out loud. Over the past couple weeks I had gotten used to his presence, his voice while he playfully talked trash to Avi for throwing up on him, or the sweet and adorable way he whispered to her while he was trying to get her to sleep. I missed seeing him stretched out awkwardly on the sofa, tapped out after Avi stressed him all day because she wanted all of his attention.
Those visuals were both good and bad because it was hard not to focus on him shirtless in sweats or shorts, muscles flexed and on display from having one arm folded behind his head and his other hand resting against those carved abs. My eyes drifted lower, enjoying that damn print which was forever present.
I spent my day working then bingeing reality TV, explaining things to Avi who completely ignored me like her daddy did with his head back and eyes closed as he grunted out complaints and sarcastic comments about my obsession and annoyance with how stupid the people were behaving.
The denial I was dealing with about wanting more from Omiri than him just being present in Avi’s life was frustrating. I wantedhimand not just being Avi’s father. I glanced at my phone and fought the urge to text him, just to check in. My pride wouldn’t let me because I felt like he would see straight through it.
Then my mind spiraled with thoughts of what he was doing. He said this was work but this was the first time in weeks he was able to fall into his old habits because he wasn’t with us. The thought of who he might be experiencing those old habits with had my stomach twisting and knotting because I didn’t want him with other women.
I sighed and lifted the pajamas I purchased earlier today when Avi and I made a quick shopping trip to prepare for our girls’ night. I didn’t really spend much but part of me was hoping Omiri would see the charges and reach out. I purchased a matching set for us and Tiana, threw them in the washing machine to make sure they would be ready for tonight, and cleaned while Avi took a nap.
I had dinner while she was asleep, and now that she was up, it was time for our evening festivities.
“Okay, little bestie. Your Aunt Tee bailed on us, so it’s just you and me now, kid.”
Tiana got called in for a shift and I was disappointed because Avi would be out by eight, nine at the latest, which meant I would be kicking it solo for the rest of the night. The last thing I needed was time to obsess over missing Omiri being here with us and let’s face it, girls’ night without my girl just didn’t land.
I reached for Avi’s pajamas and held them in front of where she lay on her tummy on my bed. The soft pink and white striped cotton onesie with lace ruffles on the butt was too damn cute and my baby agreed based on the grin she gave me.
“Okay, so maybe you are a pink girlie. Don’t tell your daddy that because I’ll never hear the end of it.” I winked at my little muffin and she started a round of babbling that sounded a lot like betrayal. “You’re gonna tell him, aren’t you?”
I narrowed my eyes and she smiled.
“Okay fine, you can tell him but I’ll deny it. Now let’s get you ready. This is about to be the most lit girls’ night ever.”
After a diaper change, I got Avi dressed and slipped her tiny feet into fuzzy pink mule slippers then changed into my matching set. Same pink and white striped cotton minus the ruffles on the butt and mine was a cami while hers was full sleeved.
I lifted Avi and we made our way to her bedroom straight to the full length mirror armed with my phone. “Okay, girl. We’re serving looks tonight.”
Avi’s tiny little brows pinched while she focused on our images then she started grinning, kicking her feet, looking like the most adorable thing alive. Based on her smiles and squeals, she thought so too.
“Okay, muffin, let’s dial that down a little bit.”
I kissed her fat cheeks then adjusted her in my arms to do a video call with Tiana. It was just before seven which meant I could catch her before she clocked in. She was missing out and I wanted to make her feel like shit for choosing to pay her bills over hanging out with us. She answered, lifting a metal tumbler to her mouth looking like she was over the shift already and hadn’t even gotten there yet.
“Hey, friend… Oh my goodness, look at my little muffin all decked out in pink.”
“Uh hello, we’re both in pink.”
She smiled widely. “Yep, you are but you’re not as cute as she is, and I thought you didn’t like pink.”
“I do but I can’t be a hater. I need to let my baby decide.”
“Mmhm or are you letting your baby’s daddy make the call?”
I rolled my eyes.
“This isn’t about him. This is about good parenting and letting my baby have the true girls’ night experience since you bailed on us.”
“I need the money and I didn’t bail. If you recall, I put in a request for a rain check.”
“I know but I’m still giving you shit.”
“Don’t be like that.”
I grinned and shrugged. “You’re missing an exclusive VIP invite-only, friend.” I shifted Avi in my arms and readjusted the camera. “Look at the fit.”
