Page 130 of The Fallacy of True Love
maybe jst a bit
Alonzo
That’s a good start
* * *
On Sunday, we drove to a private farm-to-table restaurant an hour away from the city for our family brunch. The tension between me and my dad was palpable, but Tala and Jason did their best to lighten the mood in the car.
The restaurant was a traditional wood and stone house, and the ground floor opened to a flowering garden. With a breeze coming in alongside the chirps of birds, the place was peaceful.
So peaceful that my head hung back and my jaw opened in a wide yawn.
Across the table, Mama gave me a concerned look. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just need sleep.” I’d managed to get a full seven hours, only waking up early because I’d set my alarm for a run. But I still hadn’t caught up on the sleep I’d missed.
“Are you working later?” Tala asked.
“Of course.” I needed to clock in as many hours as possible so I could go on a weekender to Juana. If I found someone to cover my Saturday shift, I could take the last bus out Friday night and be back before work on Sunday.
Best case scenario, I’d take Sunday off too. Anything to prolong my time with Maya.
“If you didn’t keep going out, you’d get more sleep,” Papa grumbled. “Then you’d be able to concentrate on your classes.”
“I know. But I need a life too,” I said tightly, all traces of my relaxation gone.
“You need to get your priorities in check,” he snapped. “Do you want to be a successful lawyer? Then you need to learn to make sacrifices.”
My jaw clenched. “I want to be successful but not at the expense of my happiness.”
“That’s the problem with your generation. It’s all about you. Being happy.” Papa blustered. “Where’s the discipline? The commitment?”
“Juan,” Mama spoke up in an attempt to calm him down.
Glaring at my dad, I said, “Are you kidding me? I stayed here in Manila to be with Mama while all of you left. I chose to pursue law so I could defend our family if need be. I’ve been working while studying so I won’t need to rely on you for money. And you’re calling me selfish?”
I sprang out of my seat, unwilling to hear another word from him. “Sorry,” I said to the rest of my family. “I need some air. Excuse me.”
I headed out to the garden, my entire body burning with anger and humiliation. So much for peaceful. Good thing we had the place to ourselves, or we would have ruined the meal for other diners. There was also the risk that this too would have ended on social media. As it was, I was ashamed to look the staff in the eye.
Breathing deeply, I tried to calm down. I fixed my eyes on the bougainvillea flowers spilling over the bordering wall, and the bird that swooped over it.
Maya. I thought of Maya and her faux glares that gave way to reluctant laughter. The way she looked coasting over the water, like poetry in motion. I thought of her next to me—eating or asleep or simply existing.
I reached into my pocket, intending to call her. But I heard grass rustling behind me, and I turned around to find Mama approaching.
“Can I join you?” she asked in a soft voice.
I had wanted my solitude, but I couldn’t say no to her. “Sure.”
She wove her arm through mine, and we walked together in silence for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry I lost it back there,” I told her.
“I understand why you did. Your father—” She sighed. “It’s been difficult for him to come home and realize that you and your sisters aren’t kids anymore. He’s still learning to accept that Luna has a life of her own in the US, and Tala’s getting married, and?—”
“And I’m failing at being the perfect student,” I said bitterly.
