Page 62 of The Fallacy of True Love
“Enjoying isn’t the word I’d choose. But I guess that’s how school is, right?”
“You used to enjoy it,” she reminded me.
“Because college was fun. It’s different now. This is more like work, only I’m not getting paid. I’m not doing well either.”
“It’s a tough path,” she said. “But you should know that no one’s expecting you to get straight As.”
“Good, because I’m not getting them,” I muttered. “But I promise I’ll do better.”
“Your grades don’t determine how I see you. I love you with or without your achievements.” Sighing, she folded her hands on the table. “I wish I’d told you kids that more often when you were growing up. I was too busy?—”
“You were providing for us, Mama. I never doubted that you loved us. None of us did.”
“If I had been around more often, I could have showed you that there’s more to life than getting good grades or working hard and being successful.”
“I mean, it’s not like I don’t have a life outside of school.” I had my part-time job and my friends. I used to have Dani. Just looking at my college life, I’d say I had a well-rounded experience—though whether that translated to law school was still up in the air.
Mama hummed. “How are you and Dani?”
My hands lowered, clattering my utensils on my plate. I took a breath and said, “We broke up.”
She stood and rounded the table to give me a hug. “I’m sorry, Alonzo.”
I patted her arm. “It happened over the holidays, but I didn’t want to tell you because—” Because I was afraid to admit I’d failed at that too.
Sitting beside me, Mama gently said, “You don’t have to, but do you want to talk about it now?”
“Honestly? Not really.” I tried to smile. “It’s going to mess with my head, and I need to study.”
“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.”
“Thanks, Mama.”
Later, when I was at my desk with my readings spread out in front of me, my phone pinged with a text from Cam. I’d sent her a photo of the file envelope at the mailing center and told her it should get there in two to three days.
Cam
thx. hw much do i owe u?
Alonzo
Don’t worry about it. I’m happy to help.
Cam
the site said 180. u have gcash right?
Alonzo
Seriously, don’t pay me back. I don’t want your money.
Not a minute after I replied, I got a notification from my e-wallet app that I had received a money transfer. I shook my head.
Cam
sent 200
Alonzo
