Page 122 of The Fallacy of True Love
She shrugged. “You’ve never needed much time to decide on the big things.”
“That’s it? You’re not going to ask if this is a rebound or if I’m losing my mind?”
“I know you, Lonzo. If you can look me in the eye while saying something as big as that, you mean it and you’ve already thought things through.”
“I have. I just need to convince her that we can make it work.”
“At least you’re in the same country,” she said.
We shared a laugh.
“Are you open to advice?”
“From my sister? Of course.”
“As someone who’s been on both sides of the situation, I’d say the best thing you can do is be honest with her about how you feel. And to keep showing up for her—but not in a pushy way, of course,” she added.
“That’s the plan.” My stomach grumbled, so I reached for another lumpia.
Meanwhile, Tala snagged a chip. “You know Luna’s going to hate missing out on this, right? You’ll have to repeat everything for her.”
I swallowed a mouthful of spring roll and said, “That’s what she gets for being in the US.”
I meant it as a joke, but Tala’s expression grew troubled. “Does it bother you that you had to stay here with Mama?”
If she had asked me that a few months ago, I might have said yes. Now I had a different perspective on it. “No. Do I wish I got to experience what you guys did? For sure. If I had that kind of freedom, I don’t know what I would have done.” I let out a short chuckle. “But I wouldn’t trade my time with Mama and everything I did get to experience here, good or bad.”
“No regrets then? No what-ifs?”
I shrugged. “The what-ifs will always be there. I’m just choosing to appreciate the good things that came from the decisions I made and to focus on what I can control right now.”
The present might be messy, but I was in the position where I could decide for myself. I wasn’t backed into a corner, forced to do whatever I could in order to survive. That alone was a gift. So was being able to talk to my sister like this.
Even when Tala moved away, I wouldn’t be left behind. She’d carry part of me wherever she went, just like Luna did. Likewise, I would also still hold parts of each of them no matter where our paths brought us.
I realized that staying here in the country I was born in wasn’t settling. It was simply knowing this was where I wanted to be—in these small land masses divided yet bound together by the sea, this place where people sang and laughed despite life’s challenges and expressed love through food and gatherings. I belonged here. It was far from perfect, but it was right for me.
And when I knew something was right, I fought for it.
Chapter Forty-Three
Cam
I usually tried to sleep through bus rides to make the hours go faster. This time, I couldn’t. My mind raced with memories of the past five days and the guy I’d spent them with.
Two hours into the trip, I looked inside the canvas bag and found a bag of cheese chips, a pack of Chocnut, mints, and what appeared to be a homemade sandwich wrapped in wax paper. Beneath that, a note.
Maya—
You’re probably reading this on the bus, though I’m hoping you changed your mind and you’re still in the passenger seat next to me. I prepared a speech for you, but I’m not sure how much I said out loud.
In case I didn’t get to tell you (even if I did, you deserve to get it in writing too)—you are a strong, beautiful, amazing woman, and I’m crazy about you. If I could rewind time, I would go back to the hours we spent together and relive them in slow motion, memorizing each frame.
I wish you could have stayed or that I could have gone with you.
But this isn’t goodbye, and you can hold me to that.
I’ll miss you, Camaya Cruz. I know you’ll miss me too. ;)
