Page 133 of The Odds of Happily Ever After
“Because you’re in love with me.” I’d dreamed of it so many times that I’d convinced myself it was one of those things that would always remain in the realm ofif onlys. I might have thought I was delusional, but his touch told me otherwise.
This was a dream I never wanted to wake up from. I should have felt like the luckiest woman in the world.
So why did I have this weird feeling in my stomach?
chapter forty-two
gabe
Cesar
Tomorrow. Don’t forget.
Before Luna, Ihad never imagined myself talking about my feelings so openly—and most definitely not spouting declarations of love. Now here I was, revealing my hand to her as though I had nothing to lose.
In truth, this felt like the most important gamble I’d ever make because Luna was the prize I hadn’t allowed myself to hope for.
“I love you, Luna.” The words burst out of my mouth like they’d stayed trapped inside for far too long. Freeing them felt right because they belonged to her—onlyher—and once I’d popped the cork on the truths I’d kept unspoken, more of them poured out.
“I know you deserve better,” I told her. “I’ve hurt you and let you down multiple times despite saying I would make thingsright. And I know you have other options—someone who doesn’t come with a load of baggage and makes you feel like you’re the center of his universe. I know that’s not me, but I promise never to stop trying to be a better man and to love you the best way I can. Even if you choose to be with someone else.”
I released everything I had bottled in, and the furrow between Luna’s eyebrows grew deeper with every word I said.
Letting go of her, I scraped a hand through my hair and exhaled loudly.
She shook her head. “I’m trying to figure out where to start,” she said, wiping her eyes. “Yeah, you hurt me, but I’ve already forgiven you for that—and the times you’ve made me happy far outnumbers the times you didn’t. You make me feel seen the way no one else does. The way you pay attention to the smallest of details . . . it amazes me.” She reached out and wove her fingers through my hair, and I leaned into her touch. “I’ve always wanted to do this, you know? Every time you ruffled your hair, I wished I could do it for you. I can’t believe you think I have other options when you’re the only one I see. You’re the only one I want.”
Her words filled me with so much hope and gratitude that my brain couldn’t come up with a proper response. “Luna . . .”
“Gabe.” She held my stare. “I love the different sides to you, and every time you show me more of who you are, I fall deeper in love with you. I don’t care that you have baggage. I only care that you trust me enough to share it with me and let me help bear the load.”
I reached for her hand, and she opened it for me, filling the gaps between my fingers with her own. “I do trust you. More than I thought I could trust anyone again.”
She squeezed my hand. “Can I tell you what I want?”
“Of course. You never have to ask for permission.”
“I want you as my partner, Gabe. I want to work through these chaotic feelings with you and to be with you even when it’s hard and messy and things feel like they’re out of control. I want us to back each other up and push each other to be better.” A slight flush colored her cheeks, and wisps of hair escaped from her braid, the strands falling across her forehead.
With my free hand, I swept the loose hair back and cupped her face. “I want that too. All of that,” I told her. “I promise to do my best to give that to you.”
A shadow passed across her eyes and she took a shaky breath.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, searching her face.
“I—” She hesitated. “I should be ecstatic right now because I’ve loved you for so long and I never thought you’d love me back. And I’m happy, really, I am. But I’m scared, too, and I hate it.”
I wanted to embrace her, but I wasn’t sure she wanted to be touched like that right now. So I held on to the hand she’d left in mine and traced circles on her skin. I wished I knew the right things to say, but I didn’t. All I could do was try. “Can you tell me what it is that’s scaring you?”
She chewed on her lip. “I guess I’m scared that I might lose myself in just how big my feelings are for you. That I’ll lose my independence because I want to be with you so badly. It’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid. Your thoughts and feelings, they’re all valid,” I told her firmly. “I don’t want to be a source of fear or stress for you.”
Her eyes went wide. “You’re not! It’s just me.’’
“I didn’t mean that I’m walking away. Just that we can take things slowly. I’m not in a hurry, and I never want to pressure you into anything you’re not comfortable with.”
Her breathing seemed to calm as I spoke. “Alright.” She nodded slowly. “I’m also worried that people might think you got fired.”
