Page 5 of Too Old for This
“Hello, Mrs.Jones. This is Plum Dixon again. I’m calling about the docuseries I’m making, and I want you to understand that this isn’t a hit piece. I don’t think you’re guilty or anything! This is a completely different kind of series. I’ll be in your area today and would love to explain it more in depth. I think you’ll see this will be beneficial to both of us. Please give me a call at your earliest convenience.”
Until this moment, I’d never listened to the whole message. I had stopped as soon as Plum said her name. Now that I hear the confidence in her voice, how she really believed her series would be beneficial forme…my regret vanishes. Plum was never going to stop.
I throw off the covers, feeling the chill of the morning air. Despite how stiff and sore I am, my body won’t slow me down today. A hot shower, a hot cup of coffee, and I’ll be ready to tackle my very long to-do list.
The floor in the kitchen sparkles.
It’s never good to be too confident. As the coffee brews, I drip more peroxide on the tile. One more cleaning won’t hurt.
Breakfast is an egg-white omelet with tomatoes and one dry slice of whole-grain toast. Not the most flavorful meal. I miss bacon and whole eggs and lots of butter and jam. Then again, big picture. There are so many things I miss that breakfast doesn’t crack the top ten.
I head out to the garage. Plum is frozen. Even her blood is hard. I put on gloves and protective goggles and get to work.
—
A chain saw is not a toy. I wish it was, because it would be a lot lighter. That’s the worst part, I think. The weight of it all.
After an hour or so, I take a break and go into the house.One missed call on my phone, and it’s from my son. Archie didn’t leave a message, but I call him back anyway. I always do.
He picks up on the first ring.
“I’ve got great news.”
“Yes? What’s that?”
“Morgan is pregnant.”
Pause.
“Wow.” A genuine response. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. “That’s…That’s incredible.”
“Thank you. I really hoped you would be happy about this.”
“I am happy.”
“Good, because there’s more.” Archie sounds like a little kid, and I do not consider this a good thing. “Morgan and I are getting married.”
A longer pause.
“Hello?” he says.
“I’m here.”
“You’re judging me, aren’t you?”
How dare he ask me that. “I am notjudgingyou. I’m just surprised by all of this news.”
“Mom, I know we’ve had a lot of discussions about Morgan, and I know you don’t agree with all my decisions, but I hope you’re happy for us.”
“Of course I am.”
I don’t mention his first wife. Nor do I bring up the two kids he already has. Or the fact that Morgan is twenty-three years old and he is twice her age.
“Thank you,” he says. “Because we’re coming up there to get married.”
“To Baycliff?”
“Probably Portland. That will make it easier to fly in, and cut down the travel time.”
