Page 110 of Too Old for This

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This is no time to stroll down that memory lane. I go back into the motel room and check Norma’s phone. The messages have dwindled down to Burke and some spam. Tammy is long gone, and so is her former boss.

Burke:Why is this taking so long?

Don’t worry. This will all be over very soon.

CHAPTER 59

Once again, my real estate agent arrives two minutes late. Delia shows up at my house looking as sharp as ever. The edge of her dress stops just above her knees. The hem looks like it was cut with pinking shears.

The man with her doesn’t look sharp, he looks pale and bloated with unkempt hair, oversize clothes, and sneakers. He either has a lot of money or access to it, because he buys houses like mine in cash. Delia says his name is Kelvin, but I find it hard to believe his mother agreed to that. Not unless he has a sibling named Celsius.

Kelvin walks through my house muttering to himself and occasionally typing something into his phone. At one point, he walks out of the kitchen and into the backyard to take a call.

Delia tries to smile. “He’s a bit odd.”

“Is that what you call it?”

At no point does he walk into the sitting room. I make sure of that so the camera isn’t triggered on. Kelvin doesn’t seem to care. In fact, he doesn’t enter most of the rooms, preferring to glance in from the doorway.

But he does notice the broken door to the study. So does Delia.

“Was the door like that when I was here before?” she asks.

“It’s been like that for a long time. I kept meaning to get it fixed, but…” I shrug.

Kelvin has no reaction. Delia told me that he made a fortune in tech and has had trouble spending all the money. Real estate is his new addiction. Before that, he bought fast-food franchises and closed them. He’s still angry that his parents fed him so much of that junk as a kid.

“Is he going to tear my house down?” I ask.

“We just want him to make an offer. One offer will bring in more.”

After their walk-through, I leave them alone on the porch to talk before Kelvin gets into his ridiculous car and drives back to Portland. Delia fills me in on her plan to bring in two other investors, both of whom consider Kelvin to be competition.

“It’s all a big dick-swinging contest.” She side-eyes me, gauging my reaction to those words.

If Delia thinks she is going to shock me with a little profanity, she doesn’t know me very well. Lucky for her.

She leaves, her thumbs flying as she sends messages while walking to her car. Delia makes it sound like this house will sell in days, not weeks or months. I’m sure at a low enough price, it would. But I’m hoping it won’t come to that.


Norma:We’re having dinner again tonight.

Burke:You’re kidding?

Norma:I am not. I’m tired of this. I need answers. I can’t stay here forever.

Burke:Good, good. I’m so proud of you! You’ve got to bring up the names Marilyn and Walter. See how she reacts.

Norma:Mmhmm.

Burke:What does that mean?

Norma:It means I’ll try, okay?

Burke:…

Norma:That’s your advice? Three dots?