Page 88 of Too Old for This

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“Why don’t you stay for dinner?” I say. “We can talk more about the wedding.”

“I couldn’t—”

“Of course you can. And you still have to show me how to use that stun gun.”

Now she smiles. And she follows me inside.


It turns out that Morgan has taken several classes in gourmet cooking and is quite the chef. One more thing I didn’t know about her. No, that’s not right. It’s one of themanythings I don’t know about her. I hardly know Morgan at all.

She whips up some kind of frittata with egg whites and all the vegetables in my fridge. It might be the healthiest meal I’ve had in a while. Over dinner, I ask about her life, herchildhood, and how she came to be a flight attendant, and I try my best to listen to her answers. But my mind keeps drifting back to Burke.

He has been working in the background for weeks. From what I can tell, his involvement began after Cole contacted Norma. He told her Plum had been here to try and interview me for her docuseries. Norma, so anxious to make up for all those years of neglect, started digging, eventually finding her way to Burke. It’s a bit depressing that my life always leads back to that man.

No, that isn’t right. It’s not depressing; it’s horrifying.

“…how Archie and I met,” Morgan says. “He told you that story, didn’t he?”

I blink back into the conversation. “Of course. He said you met on a plane.”

“And?”

“And that’s it. You were working as a flight attendant and he was on the flight.”

Morgan shakes her head. “That’s not how it happened.”

“No?”

“I wasn’t working,” she says. “Archie had gone to L.A. to see a client and was on a flight back up to San Francisco. I had just finished my shift, which left me in L.A. because of a cancellation, but I was able to get an empty seat on a flight back up north. I was sitting right next to Archie on the flight.”

This is all new information to me. I nod, motioning for her to continue.

“Archie was trying to use the Wi-Fi, but he was having problems connecting. He started getting really frustrated, and I offered to help.” She reaches over and taps me on thehand. “He wasn’t wearing a wedding ring, either. Just so you know. He and Stephanie had already broken up.”

That’s the second time she has told me this. She really wants me to know that they did not have an illicit affair. “So that’s how it started? When you helped him get on the internet?”

“No, not at all. Nothing started that day. Two weeks later, he was flying down to L.A. again, and I was one of the attendants.”

“Let me guess. He had another problem with the Wi-Fi?”

She smiles. “He pretended to, yes.”

That’s my Archie. Somewhere along the way, he learned that acting a little dumb could be useful. Must be a family trait.

Morgan collects our dinner plates and stands up. “Hope you left room for dessert!”

“Dessert? But all I have are some store-bought cookies.”

“Now you have store-bought cookie sandwiches with frozen whipped cream and chocolate drizzle.” She walks into the kitchen, leaving me alone in the dining room.

We drink sparkling water because of Morgan’s pregnancy. She threw together a three-course meal with a salad first, then the frittata, and now dessert. The food isn’t fancy, but she makes it feel that way.

I hear her in the kitchen, setting down the plates and opening the refrigerator. My mind returns to Burke, though it’s never really left.

According to that retirement article, he would now be around eighty-five. And here he is, still trying to catch me,enlisting Norma in his plan. His obsession might be impressive if I wasn’t the object of it.

In the kitchen, Morgan screams.