Page 98 of For Your Own Good
As soon as Tammy appears, again looking cheerful, Fallon says, “Who died?”
“I’m sorry?”
Fallon points to the TV. “It says someone died.”
“Oh.” Tammy’s face falls into a deep frown. Not good. “I’m sorry. I don’t know. Everyone who was brought here is going to be fine.”
The anger is immediate. Familiar. It’s been with Fallon ever since she can remember. Because of her parents, who expected too much. Because of her friends, who were always smarter, prettier, better. Because of her teachers, who asked for more and more and more.
And Teddy, who derailed her whole life.
It’s not just the big things, either. She gets angry about a lot of little things. When someone is running late, when she finds a spot on her blouse, when someone cuts her off in traffic: Anger has become her default.
Like now.
Fallon grips the remote so hard that she turns up the volume. The reporter sounds like she’s screaming.
“I DON’T THINKyou understand.” Teddy has to restrain himself from getting angry with his nurse. “Mywifeworks at this hospital.All-i-son Crutch-er. That’s her name. Can you page her and let her know I’m here?”
The nurse looks older than God. She shuffles out of the room without saying a word.
Teddy sighs. Why everything has to be so difficult is just beyond him.
His TV is on, and it has been for the past hour. The reporter is so thin, she looks like a bobblehead, and it’s highly unattractive. At least her voice is tolerable.
Allison must know he’s here by now. She must. And, yes, perhaps she’s still angry at him, but for God’s sake, he’s in the hospital. Being married for over a decade should warrant a visit at least.
He glances over at the phone, wondering if he should call down to the emergency room. How unfortunate he was unconscious when he was brought in. He’ll never know if Allison saw him, or even if she helped him. Not unless she comes to his room.
No, he’s not going to call. For months, he has not called her, has not reached out at all. In his mind, she just needed time. Betrayals are like that. Shock, anger, and finally, acceptance. Once all the extreme emotionsstarted to fade, he’d expected to hear from her. And he did. It just came in the form of divorce papers.
So dramatic. She was never like that before, and truth be told, it’s not a good look.
Yes, perhaps he did agree to have children when they first decided to get married. She was so dead set on having kids, it was the only way she would marry him. He’d had no choice.
“Of course I want kids,” he told her. “Who doesn’t?”
As someone who spent every day around self-absorbed teenagers, kids were the last thing he wanted—even with Allison. So he lied. He’d never expected to have to make good on that promise. He thought he would be able to talk her out of it.
Didn’t happen.
“I DON’T UNDERSTANDwhy we need to have kids right now,” Teddy told her. “Don’t you enjoy our life?”
“Of course I do.”
They had just finished eating dinner. Teddy was still sitting at the kitchen table, but Allison wasn’t. She had stood up to take her dish to the sink.
“I’m just not sure we need to have children,” he said. “Not right now, given our financial situation. We haven’t even finished the house.”
“It’s not about need. It’s about want. I want kids.” With her back to him, she started rinsing her dish. “You said you did, too.”
“Of course I do. I’m just thinking about money.”
“If we wait until we’re rich, we’ll never have kids,” she said.
He didn’t answer that, because it was true. The words hung in the air like a bad smell.
“A little while longer,” he finally said. “Let’s at least wait until after the holidays.”
