Page 38 of Sworn to My Heart
“Alin, you understand they could have killed you, right? There’s no such thing as lying in the famiglia. A person could find themselves dumped in a field with their tongue cut out for telling a lie.” she says with open fear. I’m unsure whether she’s trying to instill fear in me or just show her concern. I shrink inside, pained by the knowledge that Luca could have killed me for lying.
My whole life here is one big lie. If Luca finds out, he’ll never accept me. It’s doubtful he’ll even keep me alive; I’m a threat he’ll have to deal with. I’d have to run for my entire life and notjust from my family this time. I’ll never have a normal life.
Panic washes over me, and Cora must see it immediately because she places her hand on mine, gripping it tightly.
“I don’t know what was going through your mind when you lied, but Alin, you’re the only person close to me. I need you in my life, much more than you need me. Please, don’t shut me out. Talk to me,” she pleads, desperation clear in her voice.
She doesn’t know how much I need her too. She’s my anchor to a normal human life, the closest thing I have to a human sister, or any sister at all, really. “You’re wrong,” I blurt out, and she looks at me, confused.
You’re wrong,” I repeat. “We need each other equally. You’re my anchor to sanity,” I admit, taking a long, freeing breath.
“Alin, whatever you’re hiding, whatever you’re not talking about, I can handle it. I want to be there for you. You’ve entered the dark world of the mafia because of me. You’ve become a part of the family and have learned everything about me. Please let me into your world. Don’t push me away; I’ll fight every battle with you, I promise” she says as if reading my thoughts. I’m touched by her immense affection and support. I hug her immediately, and for a brief moment, I want to share everything with her. Maybe this burden would feel lighter. But I quickly remind myself that any revelation from me would only push away the people I love.
This isn’t just about my suffering anymore; it’s about theirs too, when they realize what they’ve brought into their lives, and when they have to face my parents and understand the power they’re up against. It would be better if they just kill me.
“Cora, you’re like a sister to me, and I appreciate your concern. Maybe with time, I’ll be able to bring you into my world,” I lie, “Right now, it’s just a big mess, even I don’t want to be there.”
She seems to understand and stops insisting, but quickly moveson to another sensitive topic, Luca.
“Maybe I was wrong about you and Luca. It seems he really can’t let you go,” she says with a sly glance. She changes moods too quickly for me to keep up.
“He’s letting go just fine with his whores,” I reply, dismissing her implication. I immediately recall the naked redhead sitting on him. “Mariano told me. I don’t justify his actions, and if I could kill him for it without leaving witnesses, I would. This is how the Spallo brothers deal with things, apparently. He probably really thought you were betraying the family, and that was his way of coping,” she explains.
I decide to ignore her defense of Luca and question her instead. “The Spallo brothers’ way of coping? Did Mariano cheat on you?” I ask surprised, and suddenly, the only thing occupying my mind is how I’m going to strangle him to death.
“Yes and no,” she replies. “We consummated our marriage. We slept together on our wedding night because that’s what tradition demands, from both of us. But we didn’t sleep together again after that. I was tense, afraid of who he might be, I didn’t know him, and he seemed to respect that. But he didn’t come home at night. I was sure he was cheating on me and had a mistress. At that time, it didn’t bother me; I felt relieved that someone else was taking the pressure off instead of him putting it on me at home when I wasn’t ready.
A few nights later, I decided to follow him and ended up in the building’s basement. I made the mistake of my life,” she recounts, and her smile fades. “I watched him torture someone in a horrifying way, trying to get information. The man was a traitor. But who I saw there wasn’t Mariano. He was a monster. It confirmed all my fears. I ran back upstairs in tears and didn’t go near him for weeks. He would walk toward me, and I’d back away, paralyzed with fear. At some point, he seemed to give upon me completely and went to actually fuck someone at their club,” she continues, and I shudder. What kind of world was this girl born into? It seems like both of us were born into forced marriages.
“How do you know he went there?” I ask, unable to hide the curiosity mixed with anger in my voice.
“One of the whores made sure to send me pictures, trying to humiliate me. She thought she could get Mariano for herself,” she replies disdainfully. It’s clear she hates this woman, and I understand her completely.
“But when he found out, she was immediately kicked out. He doesn’t kill women so easily, but he threatened her that if she came back or contacted me in any way, it would be the end for her,” she says, a smug smile spreading across her face.
“Since then, he decided to invest in our relationship. He sent me flowers, tried to take me out on normal dates. I got to know him deeply, and falling in love was inevitable,” she smiles broadly now, as if a good memory has taken over her mind.
“Maybe that could happen with you and Luca,” she says, laughing.
“Keep laughing, it’s a good joke,” I chuckle.
“You’ll end up believing it yourself,” she teases, giving me a light shove. It seems I’m really not good at hiding my feelings.
We continue gossiping among ourselves. She doesn’t push more about my past and where I came from, and I silently thank her for that. Time seems to fly when we’re not talking about the heavy topics that overshadow us.
We decide to have a late lunch with Maria. She may be an older woman, but she’s very young at heart and definitely has a good sense of humor.
“My second husband is a whole other story... “ Maria begins, but she stops abruptly, her gaze fixed in concern behind us. Coraand I turn immediately and our eyes land on Luca and Mariano, their suits soaked in blood. I feel my own blood drain from my body.
“Why is there so much blood? Are you hurt?” I ask, quickly getting up from the kitchen chair and rushing to Luca.
I run my hands over his chest, trying to locate the source of the bleeding in a panic. I start seeing black around the edges of my vision from worry, unable to think clearly. What is all this blood, and how is he still standing?
He grabs my arms suddenly, stopping me. “It’s not our blood, rest assured,” he smiles proudly, and instead of being horrified, I breathe a sigh of relief.Maybe I do belong in this madhouse. It sounds like Cora also released a breath she had been holding.
“Our women are concerned?” Mariano teases, placing a hand on Luca’s shoulder, and they both give us a mischievous glance.
“I am not anyone’s woman, but I was definitely worried,” I admit.
