Page 14 of Secret Confession
If she decides she wants a man who can lead her astray, who can teach her about pleasure and pain, who can show her what it truly feels like to hand over control to someone else, then I’m her guy. I may not deserve her, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to corrupt her.
It’s been five whole days since I had dinner with Maximus, and I’m pretty sure he’s back to avoiding me. I haven’t seen him, but given the sheer size of the Mansion, it’s easy for him to keep out of my way.
At first, I was glad not to have to see him. The wine I had with dinner certainly helped loosen my tongue, and I told him a lot of personal stuff that left me dying of embarrassment when I woke up the next day.
But as more time has passed, my curiosity has grown, and I can’t stop replaying the evening in my head to make sure it actually happened. It would be just my luck that it was all a bloody dream.
The things Maximus said, the dirty way he spoke, they play on repeat, particularly when I’m trying to fall asleep. It heats my body in a way I’m not used to, giving my skin this constant prickly feeling that I can’t seem to ease.
The only good thing is that the naughty thoughts of Maximus seem to be chasing away the nightmares, and now my dreams are full of him rather than the horrors of my past. But neither lead to me getting a good night’s sleep, and I wake up feeling restless and antsy, desperate for something I can’t quite name.
Maximus made his reasons for staying away very bloody clear, and with all his talk about ruining me, I should be scared enough to keep my distance from him, but I’m not.
I know scary. I met more terrifying men as a child than I care to remember. Hell, I even lived with one for almost three years. Maximus isn’t that type of scary, but the power he has over me, that’s the truly terrifying part.
I’ve always needed control to feel calm and safe, and that’s the one thing he wants me to hand over willingly. I’d need to trust him explicitly to submit to him, and that’s a very daunting concept.
Yet with each day that passes, as the anticipation grows, it becomes something I want to at least try. It’s one of those things I won’t know if I like it until I try it, and Maximus intrigues me enough to draw me in.
Maybe that’s why he’s keeping away from me, in case he’s just as unable to control himself around me as I am when I’m with him.I almost snort at that thought. Maximus Morelli screams control and composure, and there’s no situation I can imagine where he would lose either.
Maximus has occupied my thoughts so much, I’m having to find new, creative ways to keep myself busy, so I don’t do something reckless…like go over to his wing of the house again, late at night!
Mrs Branch acquired some painting supplies for me, and despite having no real natural talent for art, I’ve enjoyed setting up a small art corner where I can lose myself in painting. They’re hardly works of art, but they keep my hands busy and help me pass the time.
Unfortunately, whilst it keeps my hands busy, it rarely keeps the thoughts at bay for long, and I often find my mind wandering while my hands continue to paint, almost as if they’re moving of their own accord.
The only thing I’ve found that keeps the thoughts away, whilst ensuring my body is active enough, is exercise. Which is why I find myself ditching my paint brush and pulling on my bikini before heading to the indoor pool.
Normally, I swim first thing in the morning, and then I run in the afternoon, but today, I’m not in the mood for a run, and the water is calling to me.
Despite being on the mini-pill, which stops me from having any periods, I occasionally still get cramping around the time I would have a bleed. This often leaves me feeling lethargic and achy, and the warm water really helps with this, which is why I’m opting for a second swim.
As soon as I open the door to the indoor pool room and step inside, I freeze. I can hear splashing water, meaning someone is using the usually empty pool.
I know I should do one of two things: either hold my head high, walk into the pool, and go for a swim, pretending I don’t give a shit that the person is there, or leave and tell myself I didn’t really want to swim, anyway.
Both are good options, but my frazzled brain decides to go for secret option number three, where I creep forward, keeping hidden, so I can spy on whoever is in the pool.
I’m not sure when exactly I became the strange girl that likes to creep around in the shadows and spy on people—it’s not a look I’m altogether proud of, but it’s where I find myself at this moment.
As I take slow, quiet steps down the corridor leading into the pool, I keep myselfpressed against the wall, trying hard not to be seen or heard. Once I get to the end of the hallway that opens up into the large sunroom, I pause to take in the person in the pool.
It’s obviously Maximus swimming lengths in the pool, and for just a moment, I chastise my stupid brain for wondering whether it might be anyone else. I’ve never seen the staff using any of the main house facilities, and he’s the only other person who lives here.
Now I know it’s him, I’m certain I should turn and walk away. I’ve already been caught spying on him once. I certainly don’t need him to think I’m stalking him. Yet, in a move that I think will surprise no one, I find myself standing still, watching the hard lines of his muscles as they ripple through the water.
Even from a short distance away, I can’t help but admire his physique, which definitely doesn’t match his age. It also looks like he might have some tattoos on his back, but I’m not close enough to make them out clearly.
Without thinking it through, I edge closer, careful to remain hidden behind one of the large marble pillars that lead up to the domed glass room. Using it to shield my body, I gently curve my head around the pillar to watch as Maximus finishes his lap.
He pushes himself up out of the water, gasping for air as he holds onto the side of the pool with one arm. The water flattens his hair before dripping over his hard chest. The droplets fall down to the waistband of his swimming shorts, and I can feel myself gulping as I struggle to pull my eyes away.
After a couple of minutes, when the rise and fall of his chest has returned to a normal breathing rate, his loud voice echoes around the sunroom, startling me. “You should come out, since I know you’re here. I heard you open the door.”
I screw my eyes shut as embarrassment heats my cheeks, and for just a moment, I consider staying hidden and pretending I’m not there.
Fuck, stop acting like a child!
