Page 53 of The Shattered Kingdom
I shrug. “She has ties to Lillian. She’s valuable. Abby can’t die, and I did what I needed to keep her alive.” My hands have stopped shaking, and I let my arms fall to my sides. “And we all know Mason will fuck anything. Abby’s… available.”
The lies are sharp on my tongue, disgusting and bitter. I hate saying it, hate insinuating that Abby is a whore Mason’s found himself fascinated by. He’d kill me if he heard me talking about Abby like this. Abby probably would, too.
She tends to grow violent when she feels she’s been slighted.
I lower my voice. “Do you know anything?”
Jackie takes another sip of water, finishing the glass before gesturing for one of the servers to come forward. She sets her empty glass on the platter, her eyes still flickering around.
“I might,” she says.
I roll my shoulders, already knowing this will cause me problems later, before leading her out of the room. Rumors will spread. Mason and Abby will be upset.
“Nobody leaves,” I order.
The walkways are dead silent as I bring her to my office. The walls are soundproofed, so we won’t be overheard. Indulging a past lover with a private discussion is unheard of for a mated man. I’m putting myself in a position to have my loyalty called into question, which I’m not proud of.
If Jackie realizes Abby is my mate and there’s no possibility of marriage, she won’t be particularly inclined to help me, though. I need to keep rumors of Abby and me at bay, which means I must do things a mated man would never consider.
I sit behind my desk, eager to put some physical distance between Jackie and me. Guilt is hitting me like a sledgehammer, leaving me burning from the inside out. I need to touch Abby. I need to strip us both bare and feel every inch of her skin pressed against mine, and I fear I might die if I don’t get it soon.
Mason has been acting odd lately, desperate and antsy. I knew it was because of the bond, but I didn’t truly understand until now. I would give anything to be near Abby, and I don’t care who I hurt in the process.
It’s a terrible predicament to be in. Mason and I are meant to put the kingdom first, but I know with absolute certainty that I would let it, and everybody inside it, burn if it meant keeping Abby alive.
“Why did you revoke my access to the estate?” Jackie asks, breaking the silence.
I tap my fingers against my desk. She won’t give me any useful information until I answer her questions.
“You made Lillian angry,” I say, “and I was under the impression she was my mate.”
It’s not a complete lie. Shedidmake Lillian angry, and Iwasunder the impression she was my mate. That’s not why I had her access revoked, though. She made Abby feel insecure and small, and I couldn’t tolerate it.
“You thought Lillian was your mate?” she asks.
I nod.
“But she isn’t?”
“She’s the daughter of Callie Collins,” I admit. “She used magic to forge a mate bond between us. It didn’t work on Mason, which is how we discovered the truth.”
Jackie hums. I can’t tell whether or not she believes me. I’m mostly telling the truth, so I hope she does. I need her help, but I’m not looking to spill every secret with her. My true relationships with Abby and Lillian don’t involve her.
Jackie paces the length of my office. “Are you genuinely considering my father’s proposal?” She looks around the room as if she hasn’t been here a thousand times. “I thought we were in a good place when you left to meet with Zaha.”
I don’t respond. I’m unsure what to say, and I won’t trip over myself making excuses. We both know what Jackie says is true, so there’s no point denying it. I’m not going to apologize for it, either.
“I would make a good queen. You admitted so yourself,” Jackie continues. “If your concern is my relationship with the shifter, you don’t need to worry. I have visited the brothels he favors and learned what he likes. It’s nothing unusual, and I’m happy to do it.”
I regret ever telling Jackie I believed she would make a good queen. I meant it when I said it, and I still believe that to be true, but it only amplifies my guilt. I gave Jackie a compliment I can’t give my own mate.
As much as I enjoy being around Abby, I don’t think she’ll be a good leader. She’s combative and petty, and she seems disinterested in anything that has to do with ruling a kingdom.
I tried encouraging her to participate in my foreign policy discussions with Mason, but she made it abundantly clear that she had no interest in doing so. She was too busy playing with the glued-together crown she found in my desk drawer. I’m excited to see her reaction when she realizes that, as our mate, she has access to over a dozen real ones.
Jackie sits on my couch, her dress fanning around her. I’ve never seen her wear something so revealing, the fabric sheer and the top practically nonexistent. I know why she did it, but I feel zero interest in the breasts that once enticed me to pull her into dark corners and small nooks.
We have shared almost every first, and it was assumed we’d marry after my coronation. That was until I turned seventeen and realized there were more women out there—women who were excited and eager for my attention. Jackie and I still pulled one another into corners, but I pretended not to notice when I found adark hickey sucked into her skin and she pretended not to notice when my bed smelled like perfume.
