Page 55 of The Summer Arrangement
Unease washes over me, and I start pulling back, but he stops me.
Shaking his head, he quickly adds, “That didn’t come out right… Let me try again.”
“Okay…” I draw out, fear still not eased in the slightest.
His forlorn expression has my stomach tying in knots.
Why is he suddenly fumbling over his words?
Does he think this was a mistake now that he’s had a chance to sleep on it?
Reaching for my hand, he squeezes it once.
“Fuck… I don’t know how to say this… But… We… Uh… Didn’t use protection. It was irresponsible of me, and I’m sorry. I’venevernot used a condom, and I haven’t been with anyone since you.”
Relief washes through me in an instant.
“What are you smiling about?” His question slowly comes out as if he’s piecing together a puzzle he can’t solve.
“First, I’m clean and on birth control. Ialsohaven’t been with anyone since you. So… We should be safe there.”
When his brows knit together, confusion washes over me once again.
I replay his words in my mind and feel as if something’s off.
“Wait… You’ve never gone without a condom…” That doesn’t make sense. “But… what about Emilia?”
“Condoms are only 98% effective, even when used properly.” he says gravely.
“Are you afraid that I’ll get pregnant?”
It doesn’t make sense.
Why isn’t he looking at me?
“No… Not really. And even if you did, we’d deal with ittogether, I’m sure.” He’s quiet for moment, then his lips purse together. “Wait… If you weren’t worried about getting pregnant, why did you look upset just now?”
“Uh…” Shit. How do I say this? “I thought maybe you were having second thoughts about us… You know… Since I’m Emilia’s nanny and well… All my family’s connections to you. A lot could happen while I was sleeping.”
He’s quiet for so long, I look away in fear of what he might say. His finger finds my chin and directs my eyes back to his. “Let’s get one thing straight… I have zero regrets being with you, Elizabeth. Sure, we have things we need to talk about, but I’m certain we can figure out the minor details. For the record, this is between you and me and although your family is important when it comes to you… as far as I’m concerned, my connections to them professionally will not impact us being together.”
Again, relief flows through me, but something is still off. As I replay his words in my head, a discrepancy hits. I have no ideawhat’s happened with Emilia’s mother, but I guess now’s as good of time as any to get to the bottom of my questions.
“Wait… You said you’ve never gone without a condom… Does that mean Emilia wasn’t planned?”
Cameron grunts out a laugh. “Oh, that’s an understatement.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly happened with her mother? You never speak of her.”
“It’s kind of a long story. But you deserve nothing less than the truth.”
He inhales deeply and releases his breath. Then he slowly adds, “I… Uh… Just hope you don’t think differently of me once you know.”
I can’t imagine there’d be much he could say that would change my mind about him. I’ve seen how he is with Emilia. He’s an amazing father and always puts her needs first. He’s kind, thoughtful, and has never shown a single red flag.
Before I can say anything, he quickly adds, “Why don’t I make you some breakfast, and I’ll explain everything?”
As much as I don’t want to leave the cocoon of his bedroom, if he thinks I won’t take it well, maybe I should put some clothes on for this discussion.
