Page 72 of Little Children
Clare nodded. ‘We always knew we wanted to adopt, and we didn’t want babies. We wanted kids that were hard to place. We knew we had the love and strength to do it. We heard about the boys. Their father had died in a hit-and-run, and their mother had taken her own life a week after the funeral. Not surprisingly, they were difficult kids. They were confused, grieving and terrified. After the third foster home returned them, we stepped in. They were six and a half years old.’
Kim admired the woman immediately. Taking on two young boys full of grief and anger was not a task for the faint-hearted.
She raised an eyebrow, and Clare understood.
‘Not even for a second did we regret it. The harder they fought, the more determined we were to give them the love and stability they needed. The adoption agreement was for life, and they are our children.’
Kim said nothing, allowing the woman to just talk.
‘Harry warmed to us first. It was joyful watching him come out of his shell and learn to trust us. It gave us the confidence that we were doing something right. Josh was a tougher nut to crack,’ she said as a tear slid unnoticed over her cheek. ‘It was Jacks – Jaqueline, my wife – who cracked him in the end. Ever the pragmatist, she called a family meeting, right before their seventh birthday, and asked him directly why he couldn’t accept our love. I’ll never forget it.’ She wiped at her cheek.
‘Go on,’ Kim urged as though trying to give her a buffer of good memories before she had to break her heart.
‘He said we were only linked by a piece of paper, not blood, and so we could give them back any time. He said he wasn’t going to get comfortable because it was only temporary.’
Kim’s heart ached for the little boy full of doubt and fear.
‘Jacks immediately knew what to do. She fetched a needle and pricked everyone’s thumbs. Once we’d all pressed our thumbs together, she said, “See, now your blood runs in our veins and ours runs in yours. We will never give you up.”’ A fresh wave of tears escaped. ‘So simple a gesture, but it worked. From that day on, he allowed himself to trust in our love and our family.’
Kim choked back the emotion. She had very nearly had that family herself.
‘I want to know everything,’ Clare said, wringing her hands together. ‘And yet I don’t. Once I know the details, I’ll have to accept it’s real.’
Kim understood. The words of finality hadn’t yet been spoken. They were not out there yet. He was still a missing child.
‘Can you just run me through that last day again?’ Kim asked. It had been four years, but she guessed the memory of it had never faded.
‘It was a Tuesday, changeover day.’
Kim frowned.
‘I work Saturday to Tuesday; Jacks works Tuesday to Friday. Tuesdays were always a bit of a juggle, not least because it was Josh’s night playing badminton. I was running late to pick him up but still had plenty of time. There was a small fire in a bin at the gym, everybody was evacuated and Josh disappeared. The guys at the gym assumed he’d decided to head home early, since it’s less than a mile away, and I assumed the same when I pulled up and was told about the fire. I drove home the way he’d walk, but he was nowhere in sight. Not one soul saw him walking home that night. It’s like he just vanished.’ She met Kim’s gaze. ‘But he didn’t, did he?’
The question meant she was ready for some answers.
Kim shook her head.
‘Are you absolutely sure it’s Josh?’ Clare asked.
‘I was the moment I saw Harry.’
The penny dropped quickly, and horror filled her face. ‘He’s been alive all this time?’
Kim nodded.
‘Oh God, no,’ she said, covering her face as though trying to keep that knowledge from reaching her. ‘Oh God, no,’ she repeated, putting her hand over her heart. ‘I’ve always comforted myself with the notion that any suffering was over quickly, that he wasn’t having to miss us as much as we were missing him, that he was at peace. It was how I was able to pick myself up and carry on.’
The tears continued to fall down her cheeks as the realisation hit. ‘We continued living. We had to. There were times we laughed, adventures we went on thinking that Josh was at peace. We grieved but we also lived, and the guilt of that will never…’
Kim said nothing, unable to give her that comfort.
‘When did he…?’ she asked, struggling to say that final word.
‘Recently. Days,’ Kim confirmed.
‘Can I see him?’ she asked hopefully, as though the act would bring him back to life.
‘We will need you to confirm that it’s Josh,’ Kim said. ‘But you need to be ready. He hasn’t been taken care of by the people that abducted him.’
