Page 75 of Only This Once
“Charles and I watched them last weekend. They’re cute, but also a lot.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I thought I’d be good with kids, but I got so flustered. Charles is much better with them.”
“Yeah, the baby stage was never my favorite with Rachel’s kids. I love being the cool aunt now that they’re older, though.” She let out a snort. “Well, maybe not cool to them, but you know what I mean.”
“I’m sure you are the cool aunt, Jules. They’re lucky to get to spend time with you.”
She made another scoffing sound, eating the bite.
Jesse even enjoyed watching her chew. He really needed to get a grip.
“Being an aunt is the closest I’ll get to kids. I can’t imagine ever being pregnant.” She shuddered as she stared down at her plate. “No, kids aren’t in the cards for me. You’ll be a good dad, though.” Her eyes lifted, and she smiled at him.
Jesse hated the words. “No. That’s not— I don’t think that’d work for me anymore.” He’d have to have unprotected sex with someone to get them pregnant. There was no way he’d take that risk with anyone he loved enough to want to try. Besides, it’d always been Julia for him, and she’d never been shy about not wanting kids.
Her smile fell. “If you want kids, it’s not impossible, Jinx.”
The last bite of omelet settled heavily in his stomach. “Let’s not talk about this.”
“I’m not going to let you avoid it. You act like your life is over. It’s not!”
He knew that was true. The words sounded logical and right in his head, but his stomach twisted even more. “I’m not broken up about the possibility of not having kids or anything. It’s not like I ever really imagined it.”
“You’re so sweet, though. And kind.” Some of her tension eased. “But I’ll never be someone pushing the status quo on anyone. A spouse, a house, and two point five kids or whatever.” She waved her fork in the air. “No, thanks. I’m just surprised you feel that way, too.”
“Are you?” he asked. Their eyes met, and his cheeks grew hot as he held the stare.
Julia was the one to look away, clearing her throat. “I guess Phoebe has that side of things covered. How are things between you two? You never said the other night. You told her about, well, everything, right? Did she say something awful?”
“She…” Jesse’s temple throbbed. He hadn’t seen Phoebe since that Sunday morning, but that wasn’t unusual. “She’s just Phoebe. She doesn’t mean to put her foot in her mouth.”
“But she does, every time,” Julia finished with a sigh. She reached for her cranberry-pineapple juice, taking a sip. “She’s giving me the silent treatment. When I hung up after you showed up the other night, she got all offended.”
Jesse’s throat tightened at the unhappy frown on Julia’s face. “Sometimes I don’t get you two. You’re such opposites. You’re straightforward and trustworthy, someone who anyone would be lucky to be friends with, even me.”
Her lips lifted at the edges, but there was a wistfulness in her eyes. “Why do you say ‘even you’? You’re great, too, Jinx.”
His fingers tingled. He wanted to touch her.
Julia glanced at his empty plate. “I should give you a ride home. I doubt you want to hang out with a couple of preteens on your only full day off.”
Jesse wondered what expression she would make if he admitted he’d take any excuse to stay around her. She was right, though. He needed to go home, take his pill, and grab a cup of coffee so he could think straight. He helped with the dishes first.
When they went out to her car, he opened the driver’s side door for her. He kind of liked her driving him around. It let him look at her more, something he soaked in while she drove him home.
He was so screwed. His heart was still in his throat. Julia had touched him. She’d had sex with him again, and it wasn’t enough. He wanted more.
She’d beaten someone up for him. The way she’d looked the night before had made him want to hold on to her even tighter. “Can I ask you something?” he asked.
Her head shifted, studying him while she waited for the light to change. “Go ahead.”
“It’s about last night,” he admitted.
“You mean the bar thing? I didn’t mean to push you. You should date at your own pace.” She flashed a quick smile beforefacing forward again. “I still think any girl would be lucky to be with you, but if you’re not ready, that’s fine, too.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, though his problem was the opposite. It wasn’t that he wasn’t ready for something to happen; it was that he only wanted it to happen with her. He hated that his sister had been right to worry about him. “That’s not what I was going to ask about.”
Julia’s brow wrinkled as she pulled into the driveway of Charles’s house, putting the car in park. “Is this about the girls who hurt you?” Her hands tightened on the steering wheel. “I should have kicked both their asses. I hate that it was them. We weren’t friends or anything, but I talked to them whenever we shared classes, for years. And the whole time, they’d—” She broke off, shaking her head.
He swallowed. “You’re so angry, Jules.”
