Page 69 of Only This Once
“Come on.” She opened her car door.
Jesse reached for his own, not wanting her to open his door for him again. How pathetic could he get? She had invited him over out of pity more than anything else, and he’d accepted.
She reached for his hand, tugging him after her, and he followed, unable to do anything else. Her apartment was quiet and dim, only the lamp near the couch left on for light. She locked the door behind them without dropping his hand, leading him past the living room and toward the bedroom.
“I don’t feel like TV, do you?” she mumbled.
Jesse shook his head. His feet felt heavy. He sank onto her bed, sitting on the edge. There was only one lamp on in her room as well. It lit up her face, showcasing her worried eyes as she studied him.
Of course he made her worry.
“Here, let me get your shoes.” Julia knelt at his feet, untying the laces of his sneakers. Usually, he slipped them off without untying them, but he didn’t say anything. His chest tightened as he watched her bent head until she finished and stood again. Her hands pressed on his dress shirt, pushing him back. “Lie down.”
He followed her urging, his head resting on her pillow. It smelled like her strawberry shampoo.
She crawled over his body, curling up against his side, her arm hooking around his waist.
He turned into her, burying his face against her neck and breathing her in.
“It’s okay to not be okay,” she murmured, her hand tightening on him.
“They didn’t even recognize me.”
Julia’s short hair tickled his forehead as she shook her head. “It’s not like that makes it any better.”
It didn’t. He knew he didn’t have to say it out loud. The way she’d lunged at the woman, taking her to the ground, replayed in his mind. “You make it better. You being with me these last few weeks, it’s meant the world to me.” He expected his heart to race when he said those words to her, words so close to what he really wanted to say, but the beat of his heart was steady in his chest.
“I’ll always be there for you, Jinx. Whenever you need me.”
He wanted those words to mean something more. His arm wound over her back, pulling her closer.
“I—” She cut herself off, her head tilting against the top of his. “Never mind.”
Her hesitation made his pulse thump louder. “You can say anything to me.”
“It’s okay. I doubt you want to think about it anymore.”
It wasn’t like he could think of much else. “I never imagined running into them again.” Going away to college had been about avoiding that very scenario, but four years had created adistance he’d never questioned. He’d been too grateful for the disconnection.
“I can’t believe it was them.” Julia’s words came out like gravel, her hand tightening.
He remembered the way the women had said her name. “You knew them.”
Her head jerked against his. “They acted so nice. I even saw them with you at that party, but I thought—” Her words choked in her throat. “I’m so stupid.”
“They were drunk,” he reminded her.
“Don’t make excuses for them. I should have kicked both their asses.”
He pulled back, wanting to see her eyes. The green was shadowed. “You kind of did.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Not even close, and only the one. I’m not even sure if she was the one who—” She bit her lip, her fury fading away as she looked stricken, searching his eyes. “This isn’t helping at all, is it?”
He rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. “You help, Jules. Being with you is like a dream.”
Her free hand moved up between them, cupping his face. “I wish I could fix things for you.”
His breath shuddered in. He hated that she’d realized he’d never be who he was, but it was kind of a relief, too. Julia saw him. She knew all of him. And she was still here.
