Page 42 of Only This Once
When Jesse considered not having sex with Julia, his chest squeezed painfully.
Charles’s hand continued to soothe him. “You’re overthinking everything. Besides you getting your heart broken, this whole thing is a lot less serious than you’re making it out to be.”
Jesse groaned, pushing off the bed to pace. “I know. Especially if I go off in like two seconds.”
Charles let out a startled bark of laughter. “It won’t be that bad. Besides, you’re young. I’m sure your refractory period is short.”
“What?” He spun to face him.
“Even if you come too quickly, you’ll likely get hard again.”
“That still means I’ll suck at it!” Jesse threw up his hands. “I really don’t get why she wants to have sex with me.”
Charles grinned at him. “You should ask her. Her answer will probably make you blush, and then she’ll jump your bones and all this worrying will be over.”
Jesse groaned. “You’re not helping.”
“Look, it’s true you won’t have any moves, but you have something I don’t think she’s experienced before.”
“Like what? Shooting my load in two seconds?”
Charles shook his head. “You love her.”
Jesse froze. His heart thumped hard in his chest.
“I could teach you a few things, but I don’t think you’ll need moves. You love her, and because you do, you’ll want her to feel good. Just don’t be selfish. Pay attention to what she likes and try to give her as much of that as you can.” Charles rose, crossing to pat him on the shoulder. “You’ll be fine, I promise. If you decide you really want to do this.”
Jesse swallowed the lump in his throat, his chest still pounding. “I do,” he admitted.
“Good luck, then.” With another squeeze, Charles released him and moved toward the door. “I’ll be here if you need to cry about your broken heart after.”
Jesse turned to glare at him, but the glare quickly dropped. His brother wasn’t wrong. He didn’t want to think about what would come after yet. He wanted to focus on the next step and lock into his memory all the moments where he was allowed to be with the woman he loved.
Chapter 12
Julia handed the server her menu, watching as Jinx gave his order. He’d worn a blue button-down shirt tonight that made his eyes pop. No tie, and the top few buttons were undone, showing off his neck, which she wanted to lick. He reached for his glass when the server moved away. She enjoyed the way his Adam’s apple bounced, wondering how he’d react if she got the opportunity to mouth it later.
She should have sat next to him, not across, and wished she could get closer. “You didn’t have to take me on a date, you know. I’m a sure thing. I would have been fine if you came over to my place again.”
His smile wavered. “Oh, sorry. I’m glad you came, though. I haven’t done this before. You know, the whole dating thing.”
This was actually her first date, too. She usually just had a quick drink in a bar—club soda for her—and then worked out the mechanics of going somewhere to fuck. “Well, you’re doing fine.” She glanced around the restaurant. There were tablecloths and candles on the tables, with lower mood lighting and intimatebooths that felt romantic. The first stop on their date beforehand at the art museum had been great, too. “If it helps, tonight’s been a ten out of ten so far. No notes.”
The curve of his lips softened. “I thought of you when I saw the ad for the new exhibit.”
The images of historic Japanese tattoos had been amazing. She hadn’t heard about the exhibit and would have hated to miss it. She studied his warm eyes, reminded all over again that not only did she know Jinx, he knew her. “I’d never thought about tigers being considered mythological creatures in the past. Maybe I’ll get that tattoo next. They were gorgeous, though the dragons were also epic.”
“I’ve always liked your rose tattoo.” His eyes flickered to where the ink was displayed along her collarbone.
Her fingers lifted to rub over the bleeding rose. When his eyes followed the movement, and his pupils dilated, her thighs pressed together under the table. She’d worn a shirt with straps wrapped around her neck and had enjoyed imagining him untying them later. She really hoped he’d be going home with her and that he chose to go all the way this time. Her craving for him hadn’t lessened at all, even after the couple of tastes she’d had.
“The spiderweb is new,” he said, his eyes dropping to the table that hid her hip from view. “Why did you choose that?” His head tilted. “It’s beautiful, but I don’t remember you being into spiders. The opposite, actually.”
She felt a tingling along her hip. “I got it in college on a whim.” It’d been around the time she’d ruined a marriage the first time. The way people had talked about her, it was like she’d killed someone, not just slept with them. Similar to a black widow, though she’d considered a praying mantis, who behead their sex partners, when her anger was highest. She wasn’t big on bugs, though.
The pain of the tattoo had helped her nerves to settle while she was stuck on probation during the investigation.
“Have you ever considered getting one?” she asked to distract him. Her hand moved to her glass, sliding up the outside and enjoying the chill of the condensation. “I’m sure I’m not the only person who thinks they’re sexy.”
