Page 92 of Only This Once
Julia jumped up from the couch, moving over to the bed. The lighting in the hospital room was dim, but she could still see his eyes open, a part of her settling when they focused on her.
“Hi,” he breathed out.
She couldn’t return the word, not with her throat closing down to hold back her tears. She hadn’t cried, not yet. Crying would mean he wasn’t fine and besides, she wasn’t a crier. She took his hand, finding it cold to the touch and enveloping it with both of her own to fix that.
His mom had risen as well. “There’s my baby boy. How are you feeling?”
Jinx coughed again, his lips twisting. “Water?” he asked, his voice raspy.
Julia released him to find the hospital cup nearby. “Slowly,” she warned as she brought the straw to his lips. He’d had more than enough water inside him.
Jinx didn’t drink too much like she’d feared. His head settled again, and his voice didn’t sound as scratchy when he thanked her.
“You took quite a hit on the head,” Mrs. Holden said, patting his leg. “Is the pain bad?”
“No. I feel okay.” His eyes took in the room, and he had a rueful smile when he met Julia’s gaze. “The universe strikes again, huh? Sorry about this.”
She shook her head, clutching at the hospital cup.
“You gave us all a good scare. The doctors said you’ll be just fine by tomorrow, though you should take it easy for a few days. Want to come home and be pampered by your momma?”
“Not if you’re going to be talking about babies,” Jinx said with a scowl. “You know Julia doesn’t want any.”
Mrs. Holden didn’t look offended. “I know, I know. I was just teasing her a little. If you would have opened your eyes a moment sooner, you would have seen the cutest panicked look on her face.” She grinned at Julia. “Don’t you worry, my baby boy has been telling me for years that he wasn’t going to make me a grandma. Good thing Phoebe always wanted to be a mother, though I don’t get to watch them nearly enough.”
Julia cleared her throat, hoping her voice wouldn’t give away how close she was to crying. “That might change.” The last word broke, and she shut her eyes. They burned with tears.
“Oh, honey.” Mrs. Holden put her arms around Julia the way she had back when she was a scared little girl worried her mother was going to die. “You don’t have to hold it back. I was scared, too, but look. Jesse is still here, and he’s going to be just fine.”
Tears leaked past her eyelids and down her cheeks. Her breath caught in her throat on a withheld sob.
A hand linked with hers, and she looked down, seeing her fingers tangled with his.
“I’m here,” Jinx said, his smile the bright, boyish one that made her chest way too tight. “I love you, Julia. I’m not going anywhere.”
She choked out a sound, and her eyes locked with his. She didn’t let go of his hand as she continued to cry in his mother’s arms, the feelings inside familiar and comforting and embarrassing all together. She hated emotions. They were always so messy. But she was through pretending like she didn’t have any when it came to this man who continued to stare at her like she was the best thing in the world, even while snot ran out of her nose.
That swirling swoop in his stomach was back before Jesse even opened his eyes.
“You’re staring again,” he rasped, his voice full of sleep. Contentment mixed with guilt as Julia stroked the stubble along his cheek.
“You’re worth staring at.” She pressed into his side to brush a kiss over his lips. “Don’t act like you don’t like it.”
“Of course I like it. I like everything about you.” His eyes opened so he could see her, surprised when the sunlight filtering through the shade was bright enough to make the green of her eyes sparkle. She was dressed in scrubs. “Wait, did you turn off my alarm?”
She kissed him lightly one more time, her forehead crinkling as her hand shifted to his, resting against his skin. “I’m notimagining it. You’re a little warm today. You should stay home one more day.”
His chest constricted. He focused on his body, hoping it wasn’t what he feared. He’d woken up with a slight headache, but he’d figured that was left over from the cut on his head. Was there any itching in his groin? He hadn’t thought so, but now he could almost feel it. He’d had phantom symptoms before, just from the fear of an outbreak, so he wasn’t sure.
The ache that sometimes developed in the back of his thighs wasn’t there. He sat up, pushing Julia back. He’d missed a few of his antiviral pills because he was so out of it from the accident. His head dropped to his hands as he breathed through the panic rising up his throat.
“It might be an outbreak. We shouldn’t have sex this week.”
“Hey.” Julia leaned into his shoulder, her arms circling his body in a hug. “Everything’s fine. It might not even be that, and even if it is, you’re not up for any head banging.” Her fingers brushed over the healing scab in his hair. “I’m not worried about sex at all right now. We’re more than that.”
Jesse pulled in a steadying breath. “I know. Sorry.” Julia had been with him ever since he’d woken up in the hospital, and the way she’d looked at him ever since made him feel like he was floating, though he tried to talk himself down. He’d scared her, that was all.
“Don’t be sorry,” she murmured. The chill that had tried to overtake him slipped away the longer she held him. “Not gonna lie, I don’t hate that you’re thinking about things like that, but”—her voice lowered as she leaned closer—“it’d be awkward with Charles’s room so close, even if you were up for it.”
