Page 85 of Only This Once
By the time he sat next to her, her head rested against the seat, her eyes closed. She took a steadying breath. He frowned as he studied her face, which looked pinched and tired.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
Her head lifted and her eyes opened. She flashed an attempt at a smile at him. “Yeah. Sorry, I’m just a little tired tonight.”
His hand dropped away from his key in the ignition, reaching for her instead. He cupped her cheek, turning her face toward him more fully. “We could do a relaxing night at your place instead of going out.” His finger stroked. “That is, if you don’t mind me inviting myself over.”
Her hand came up to rest over his, and that strained smile flashed again. “You’re always welcome, but you made plans for us. Let’s just do the plan.”
“It wasn’t a lot of money. If you’re tired—”
“I’m fine, really. Just feeling a little…” Her eyes dropped, and her hand tightened over his. “No. Everything’s fine.”
Nothing was fine, because Julia wasn’t, not really. He turned his hand, linking it with hers and lowering them to rest on the center console. “Talk to me.”
She bit her lip.
“Was it that people saw us together at the hospital? I’m okay if you don’t want to meet up there. It made me nervous, too.”
Her eyes blinked, and she released her lip, wrinkles creasing her forehead. “Oh, did that bother you?” She met his gaze again, focusing on him. “I guess I did kiss you, didn’t I? If you’d rather I didn’t do that in public, I—”
“I never mind you kissing me,” Jesse rushed to reassure her.
She smiled for real, even if it was a slight one, the side of her head resting back against the seat again. “You’re cute. Almost as cute as when I kissed you in there.” There was a crease near her mouth when she frowned this time. “It’s nothing anyone did. I just feel a little… off today. I can push through it. I don’t want your efforts to be wasted.”
“You feel off?” He remembered then. Not that he’d forgotten, not really, but Julia always seemed so put together and sure. He’d seen her take her pill the mornings they were together, just as he took his own, and he knew hers was for depression, but it never fit her in his mind. “Oh.” He studied her again, seeing the fatigue in the way her eyelids drooped.
She squeezed his hand. “It’s not you, Jinx. Your plan seems fun. I know you made this date for me.”
He shook his head, his throat tightening. She was pushing herself. For him, yes, but because she saw it as the right thing to do. He lifted their clasped hands to his lips, kissing the back of hers. “Then I guess it’s a good thing I planned out a chill at home evening instead,” he said, releasing her so he could turn the key in the ignition.
Her hand hovered but then settled on his thigh. “You don’t have to change things.”
“Cuddling with you is a perfect evening to me.” He checked the backup camera and mirrors, reversing slowly from the space. “This isn’t a hardship. Unless… do you not want that? If you’d rather have some alone time, I can drop you off.”
“No,” she denied, her hand relaxing over his jeans. He glanced her way as he put the Jeep in drive, finding her eyes shut. “A night of nothing with you sounds perfect.”
He let the doubts inside slip away as he drove to her apartment. The pinched look around her eyes had eased some by the time he followed her up. He locked the door behind them, gesturing for her to head to her bedroom. “Change into something comfortable for lounging around, and I’ll make us something quick to eat.”
She hesitated, then drifted away, and he knew she was more than a little off. He’d cooked with her in her kitchen, but she usually insisted on doing most of the work. Grilled cheese and soup were quick and easy, and he already knew she had the fixings. He found her on the couch, not playing with her phone but staring at the empty screen of the TV, her legs curled under her and her head on the armrest.
He set up one of her TV trays in front of her. “Come on, try to eat something.”
She sat up, scooting closer to the food.
He turned on one of the sitcom reruns she liked to watch, and they ate silently. She didn’t eat a lot and tried to help him clean up after, but he waved her away, reminding her that there wasn’t much to do.
When he came back, she was curled up on the couch. The noise of the TV filtered in the background, but she wasn’t watching it. Her eyes had closed. He sat beside her, reaching for the blanket on the back of the couch to cover her, but she shifted, curling up toward him instead, her head resting on his thigh.
“Sorry. You don’t have to stay,” she mumbled.
His hand froze on the way to her hair. “Did you want me to leave?” She’d told him she wasn’t good company the last time this had happened, but she’d seemed to like him being there. He hated the idea she’d been forcing herself even then.
Her head shifted along his thigh as she shook it slightly. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay, that’s all.”
He let his hand find her hair, his fingers sifting through the short strands. She let out a sighing breath. “I’m doing exactly what I want to do. No cute dragon game this time?”
She hesitated, then made a small “uh-uh” sound.
