Page 60 of Only This Once
“Herpes.” Julia said out loud, listening to Phoebe’s silence after. “It’s not a death sentence. It’s actually fairly common. They say about one in six adults—”
“Please don’t spout off statistics. Charles already made me read articles about it.”
“Did you say something to Jinx?” Julia suddenly wished she’d invited him over after all.
“Not on purpose!” Phoebe defended, making Julia’s heart sink. “I just never paid attention to this stuff. Kyle and I lost our virginity together, so I didn’t need to.”
Her friend had reminded her of that often over the years, almost like she was bragging. Phoebe had found the one for her early on, and Julia was happy for her, but it wasn’t the only path.
“That’s part of what’s been behind my unhappiness lately. Sometimes I worry that I—” Phoebe broke off, and Julia heard a door shut. “Well, that I settled,” her friend whispered through the phone.
“Are things not good between you and Kyle?” Julia had a hard time believing it. Her friend’s husband thought the sun rose and set with her at the center.
“He’s wonderful! I’m lucky, I know that. It’s not about him at all. I just keep thinking that there’s so much out there that I didn’t try.”
“So, try it. Not different people, but if something is missing, communicate with him. From what you’ve said in the past, inexperienced isn’t the same as unknowledgeable. Kyle used to rock your world, especially when you guys were baby making and going at it like bunnies.”
“Yeah. Sex with Kyle has always been great. I should talk to him.” Phoebe was quiet after that, and Julia could hear the buzz of cicadas in the background. Her friend must have stepped out on the porch.
Julia closed her eyes as she listened to the insects, then sighed. “The only one who has been making you unhappy is you, Feebs. You’re the one putting unrealistic expectations on yourself since having kids. Let Kyle help. And if there’s something you want that you don’t have, go for it. You’ve got this.”
“Yeah,” Phoebe murmured. “I think I’ve been letting my jealousy of you take over.”
“You’re jealous?” Julia opened her eyes, rolling to her side. “Of me?”
“Of course I am! Your life always seems so dazzling.”
“It’s a mess. You know that.”
Phoebe made a scoffing noise. “Come on! Hot guys, a kick-ass attitude. You’re so certain of who you are. A part of me has always wanted to be you.”
Julia heard a beep in her ear, and her thoughts turned back to Jinx. “That’d be awkward now that I’ve slept with your brother.”
“Eww, gross! Please don’t remind me about that! He was almost glowing when I saw him on Sunday.” She paused, hesitating. “You know he really likes you, right? I haven’t been joking about that.”
“I like him, too. I forgot how much I used to enjoy hanging out with him.” Julia heard another beep and resisted checking it as she began to smile. “He’s sweet and nice and kind of adorable. Plus, he falls apart spectacularly in bed.”
Phoebe made a gagging noise. “Please, no more details. He already hinted at how good it was when I saw him.”
Satisfaction made her chest lighter. Their time together was pretty vanilla, but it had been memorable. “You usually like to hear the details. It gives you ideas.”
“Not when it’s about my brother, okay?” Phoebe sighed again. “Do you think you’ll keep doing it with him?”
“You know me. I’m one and done.” Julia’s smile fell. “But that’s between him and me, Feebs. Jinx and I have a friendship that I cherish, separate from my friendship with you.”
Her friend clicked her tongue. “That’s another thing I’ve been jealous of. You’d rather spend time with him over me.”
She could almost see her friend pouting, but she tried to ignore the squiggling in her stomach that image caused. “Well, he’s been nicer to me than you have.”
Phoebe sucked in a breath.
Julia waited, not willing to let her friend have a pass this time.
“I told you, I’m sorry about that.”
Julia went through their conversation all over again, frowning as she stared at the back of the couch. “Actually, no, you haven’t said that. All I’ve heard are excuses, not an apology.”
“I—”
