Page 27 of Only This Once
“The risks aren’t zero. I can’t do that to you.”
“You’re not doing anything to me. I’m the one who gets to weigh the risks, and I’m telling you, the risks don’t bother me. Unfortunately, I won’t be letting you bareback it, but guys who claim sex isn’t good with condoms are narcissistic assholes. Theyhave to wrap it, or they get nothing from me—it’s as simple as that. You’re no exception, but you’re not a special case, either.”
A fog took over his mind. It should have hurt, being told he wasn’t special, but the idea that she still wanted to have sex with him was taking over everything else.
Her hand lifted, brushing his hair back. “This is really why you haven’t had sex, isn’t it? You’re a nice guy, and you feel responsible, but Jinx? You can have sex with someone, I promise. Your sexuality doesn’t go away because you have herpes. And if you want, it can be me who you figure that out with.” Her hand dropped. “But I’ll give you time to think about it, like I said before. And I’ll send you some articles to read, too.” She opened the door, sliding out of the Jeep. “I’ll text you later, okay?”
He watched her round the Jeep as he tried to figure out what the hell had just happened. When she reached her car, she lifted her hand in a small wave, and he waved back, feeling like he was dreaming. There was no way she still wanted to have sex with him when he was damaged goods, in all the ways, but it really sounded like she did.
Chapter 7
Julia leaned back against her pillows while she texted Jinx the link to the last article she’d found. The check mark appeared that meant he’d seen it, but no dots followed, not that she’d expected him to text anything back.
She’d promised to let Jinx have time to think about her sex offer, and that’s what she would give him. With some reading material.
She scrolled back up to his message.
‘Thanks for today.’
Like he needed to thank her. She’d done nothing more than any decent person should have done. Listened. Comforted him while he cried.
Offered him sex and then gotten angry and yelled at him. She wished she hadn’t done that. She hadn’t been angry at him, but she hated to see him look ashamed of something that wasn’t his fault.
Phoebe’s face replaced the open messages on her screen, and Julia swiped to accept the call.
“Just saw you called,” Phoebe said. “Bedtime ran long.”
“It’s no problem. You sounded off earlier. Everything all right? Need to vent?”
“You first. Did you survive hiking with my brother?”
“It was actually pretty good. No issues.” She remembered the way Jinx tumbled off the rock. “Well, I did have to fish him out of the lake.”
“Figures. I swear he can’t walk a straight line without something happening to him.”
“He’s fine. Just got a bit wet.” The way the water had plastered down his usual curls had been cute. The damp material of his shirt had clung to his lean frame as well.
Then they’d shared a great kiss. Not a tongue-dueling, make-out session type of kiss. No, it had been nice to kiss just for the sake of kissing, with no thoughts of what came next.
Well, only a few thoughts.
“Charles and I are glad to have him back in town where we can keep an eye on him,” Phoebe was saying. “He’s staying with Charles for now.”
“Not with your mom? I met him there today. She said hi, by the way.”
Phoebe snorted. “It must have been the best day ever for her, getting to see her two favorites.”
“Your mom’s one of my favorite people, too. It was nice to see her.”
“Uh-huh. Do I at least come in third on your hierarchy of the best Holdens? Or does Charles edge me out?”
“Well, he did give me a job,” Julia teased, but Phoebe went silent for a beat too long. “Hey, Feebs, what’s going on? You know it’s you and me to the end of the world. Why all the self-doubt today?”
“I just feel… kind of invisible.”
“To me?” Julia bit back her urge to remind Phoebe she’d ditched her at the bar the other night. It had also been Phoebe who called her last minute when she already had plans. Julia would have kept them no matter who they had been with, because that was the respectful thing to do. Like keeping a promise. She waited, wondering what was really going on.
Phoebe sighed through the phone. “It’s not really you. Kyle’s been making me feel invisible lately. He comes home and focuses on the kids.”
