Page 75 of In the Long Run
‘That’s true.’
‘My parents went to jail when I was eleven.’He says it so quietly that his words almost get lost under the crunch of our shoes on the gravelly rail trail.
I want to stop to give this moment my full attention, but Knox doesn’t pause or break stride.And I get it, because I’m the same.When something presses on one of my tender spots, all I want to do is keep moving.Put it as far behind me as I can.
‘What—’
‘Did they do?’He wipes his brow with the sweatband on his wrist.‘Defrauded a lot of people.Started small and got lucky a few times, were able to deliver huge returns on investments.Then they got greedy.Targeted elderly investors because they were easy gets.Sold them down the river on investments that never existed.’His throat works furiously.‘They were relentless.No one was safe.Not even Dad’s parents – Mum’s died when she was young.And Eugene’s mother lost everything.’
‘Oh my God,’ I whisper.
‘She wasn’t the only one.So many people were affected by their actions.They were in the news.A lot.’
Now what he said to Violet right before we kissed makes sense.About giving himself grace.
‘The trial was horrendous.I was already living with Eugene by then and he did his best to shield me, but I couldn’t escape it.Not totally.Kids at school were horrible.But it died down eventually.Then there was a special exposé when I was in high school.Kind of a ‘where are they now’ for the victims, and that brought everything back up.Brand made sure everyone at school knew what they’d done, convinced them I was like my parents.He called me Jailbird constantly.’
Our pace has slowed to a crawl.A group pass us, tossing a jovial ‘Can you believe we paid money for this!’at us like we’re all in on the same joke.
‘That’s a dumb nickname.You weren’t a jailbird,’ I say, my heart breaking for Knox.High school was unpleasant enough for me, and all I had to worry about was normal teenage stuff.
He draws in a loud breath.‘I almost was.I was so angry and I got into some dumb shit – fights and smashing windows of abandoned houses, businesses.I’m so lucky I only ever got caught vandalising a few signs – but I ended up getting an official warningfrom the cops.Probably would’ve been charged if Eug hadn’t gone in to bat for me.He explained that I was a good kid trying to make sense of what my parents had done.That I was being bullied at school because of it.He promised to get me into therapy, help me get my head screwed back on straight.That’s when he enrolled me in Cadets, got me into going to the gym.I still don’t know why he did all that for me.’
‘I do.’
Knox’s head snaps towards mine.
‘Because what happened with your parents wasn’t your fault.’
He sighs.‘Part of their defence was that they’d been told I had a medical condition that required expensive treatment in Germany.We didn’t have much when I was growing up.But the doctor who told them that had passed away so there wasn’t any proof.’
He’d been ill?‘What about medical records?’I ask.
‘There weren’t any, because they didn’t exist.Probably picked his name out of the phone book.I was never sick, Gen.They just used me as an excuse to try and get away with what they’d done.’
My stomach hollows out, because parents are supposed to love and protect their children.Always.There’s no middle ground.
‘They’re bad people,’ Knox says.‘That’s all there is to it.’
‘But that doesn’t mean you’re bad.’
Knox twists away from me but I grab his arm.Stop us.In the middle of the path.People can go round, I don’t care.This is more important.It might be the most important thing I’ve ever said.‘Your parents’ mistakes aren’t your mistakes, Knox.You were a kid.’
Sorrow fills his eyes.
I know it’s mirrored in mine.‘You didn’t deserve that.And I’m so pissed off at your parents right now.Ugh.’I’m not even embarrassed when I throw my hands in the air, needing to do something with the rage rushing through my veins.
I’ve never met anyone like Knox before.
So good and kind and gentle.
So ready to show up for people, even when it’s hard for him.
And knowing so many people have hurt him … What a way to put my feelings for him into perspective.I really care about Knox.This isn’t just a crush on a hot guy with a good personality.Or a way to try to get my confidence back.
The thought of him being saddestroysme.
‘I need to run,’ I huff.It’s only a kilometre to the finish.My ankle will be fine.It doesn’t even hurt anymore.
