Page 59 of In the Long Run
Her quiet, pleased hum when she switches legs is harder to ignore.
‘When did you start running?’I ask.
‘Few years ago.Mere was doing one of those mud-run obstacle courses with some of her buddies and clients and they needed another team member.She dared me to do it, and I didn’t want to be the weakest link.’She laughs.‘Happy to be the secondweakest link, but the person who held everyone else back?No, thank you.’
Gen’s determination is one of my favourite things about her.
‘You?’
‘Once I figured out that I wanted to join the Army.’
‘And when was that?’With a gracefulness I have no chance of re-creating, Gen smoothly transitions into a quad stretch, folding her leg behind her, one hand holding it in place.
‘When I was at school, after Eug enrolled me in Cadets.’I probably wouldn’t have stayed in high school if my Army Cadets captain hadn’t told me I’d have no chance of being an officer without my senior certificate.That’s if they would’ve even let me enlist with an unofficial caution against my name too.Even though it was wiped from my record when I turned eighteen, these things always leave an indelible footprint that never properly fades.Nothing secret ever stays secret forever, after all.
Gen hums again and the sound travels around my body, hitting me in all the places it shouldn’t.‘Didn’t fancy trying your hand as a pâtissier?’
‘I can’t bake for shit.Alizée’s coffee machine is hard enough.Most of the time I was the cleaner and DIY repair man.’
‘Must’ve been hard to leave Eugene.’
I could tell her the truth about why I needed to get away from Melbourne.Why I’d needed to become someone else.Earn a solid wage to repay the sins of my family.To make up for my own mistakes, including the stuff I never got caught for.Would Gen see the irony of wanting to be invisible and wearing a camouflage uniform every day like I do?
But Gen doesn’t need to be burdened with all my broken pieces.Not when she’s still recovering from everything that happened yesterday.I refuse to lie to her, though, so I go with a pared-back version of the truth.‘Hardest thing I’ve ever done.’
Before she can ask the questions that would really test my resolve not to lie to her, I gesture towards Alizée’s.‘Shall we?’
‘Yeah.’Gen breathes out slowly.‘Let’s go celebrate doing hard things.’
Every time I come to Alizée’s there are more customers.Happily, I even recognise a few people from Croissants and Kilometres, who greet us with smiles and handshakes.You’d think I’d be used to sharing a goal with others, considering that’s the ethos of the fucking military, but I pause, mentally cataloguing how my body feels and startle when I realise the band of tension in my chest is totally gone.These people know my name.They’re genuinely happy to see me.And I’m happy to see them.This is community.
It’s nice.
It’s what I’ve been missing.
It’s what I’m beginning to dread leaving.
I’m less happy about the new poster stuck to the wall, next to the French doors that lead to the courtyard.It has my face in the middle of it and a banner that says,Come Run With Us!in a font that is far too chipper to be associated with me.Celeste walks out of the kitchen holding a tray of freshly baked pain au chocolat and makes an ‘Oh shit’ face.
‘Oh, wow,’ Gen says, laughter lacing the quiet voice I’ve noticed her use more and more around me, but my embarrassment doesn’t ease when she grabs my arm and tugs it.Okay.That’s a lie.It evaporates like there’s no way I could be mad about anything that brings her joy.I’m so screwed.
‘You look good,’ she says, oblivious to my discomfort.
‘I paid for that myself,’ Celeste says instead of ‘Hello, what would you like?’when it’s our turn at the counter.‘And I didn’tcall you a “stern croissant daddy”, because I know you don’t like that.And there are other people on there too.It’s not just you.And really, what’s one poster when you’ve been all over TikTok?’
I raise an eyebrow, working to keep my laughter contained, because if I know Celeste, she’s not done.And, really, she’s got me there.Wehavebeen all over TikTok.
‘So, I think the words you’re looking for are “thank you”.And Knox, you’re welcome.’She places her hand over her heart and bats her eyelashes at me.I can’t help but laugh, because Celeste’s always been plucky.She marched in here at fifteen and told Eugene she could start the next day and would like an apprenticeship.She and school didn’t get along well either.
‘Did you check with Get Fit, Get Strom about using their logo?’I ask.
She’s already started making our coffees.‘Meredith approved it.But said she didn’t think Gen would want to be on it.’
Gen snorts softly next to me.‘Correct.’
‘What about the others, Celeste?You can’t use people’s images without their permission.’
Celeste clips lids to our takeaway cups.‘I got written consent from everyone.It’s going to be fine, Knox.No one’s figured out who you really are yet, and they probably won’t.You need to chill.’
