Page 108 of In the Long Run
‘It’s not like that,’ I say, making sure to keep my tone even.Dad always says I get high-pitched when I lie.‘Knox isn’t the one for me.’
Mum opens her mouth, but Dad settles his hand over hers and shakes his head.
‘It wasn’t ever serious,’ I continue.‘Just a bit of fun between two people who are in the same place at the same time.I’m sorry if you got your hopes up.’
The words feel foreign in my mouth and they’re hard to say, because they couldn’t be further from the truth.But Mum doesn’t need to know that.
‘Genevieve, no,’ Mum says.
‘Don’t “Genevieve” me, Mum.Not everything is a great love story.Sometimes things just are what they are.’
‘But you’ve been so happy!’Mum says.
‘It’s been great, but it’s not going anywhere.’
Mum purses her lips and frowns down at her cutlery.
‘What?’I ask.
‘Nothing.’She sighs.
‘Mum.’
‘Fine.It’s just that I don’t understand why this always happens.First with Tim, and then Brand, and now with Knox.As soon as things get serious, you bolt.’
That’s it.
‘Tim had a wife in Queensland,’ I say.My voice trembles but I push on.‘I found that out when she messaged me on Instagram.That’s why he wanted me to keep our relationship a secret and wouldn’t meet anyone.Not because we worked together, like he told me.That’s why I left and started my own business.’I take a breath.‘I only said yes to going out with Brand because I knew it would make you happy.And I tried to convince myself that it was fine that we had no chemistry, but he wanted more, so I did the right thing and ended it.He’s been stalking me since then, by the way.’
I’ve shocked them all into silence.
‘Gen—’ Mum begins.
‘And Knox is moving to America for work,’ I blurt out, cutting her off, my spoon clattering to the table.‘Okay?He’s leaving.It’s a huge opportunity for his career and he’s worked so hard for it.He deserves to have nice things.And I’m’— I swallow around the lump in my throat—‘really happy for him.’
I will not cry.
‘And I’d appreciate it if we could talk about something else now, please.’
Thankfully, Dad takes me seriously and starts telling us about the caravan trip around Australia he and Mum have started planning.I listen half-heartedly, but my mind’s elsewhere.
When it’s time to say goodbye, Mum links our hands together.Meredith and Bernie have already left.‘I’m sorry,’ she says.
‘Me too.’
‘You know, you could always try long distance.Sometimes things just need time to develop.’
Pretty sure Knox and I have had the opposite problem and things developed too quickly, but I keep that to myself and walk home alone.
Like always, Knox is waiting outside for me the next morning.But instead of doing his warm-up stretches, he’s sitting on the low wall that makes up part of Eugene’s fence, his arms crossed against the winter weather that’s ignoring the fact it’s supposed to be spring.
‘No girls today?’I ask, stopping near him.Madeleine and Chouquette normally join us for the warm-up.
Knox stands, hands in his pockets.‘I think we’ve finally tired them out.They hid under Eug’s bed when they saw the leads.’
I don’t kiss him hello and we both notice, but it’s time to start protecting myself again.He’s going to Washington and it’s everything he’s ever wanted.
‘Ready to go?’I say.
