Page 84 of In the Long Run
I spin around and cut him off, not needing the explanation.‘I’ll be ready to go in two minutes.’
Knox presses his forehead against mine.‘This isn’t how I wanted this weekend to end.’
‘Life happens.It’s okay.We’ve got plenty of time, right?’
The words slip out and I pause.
Something dark crosses Knox’s face and I know he’s thinking the same thing I am – that our time together has an expiration date – but he shakes it off and kisses me tenderly.
‘Right,’ he answers.
Eugene’s waiting in his front courtyard when we pull up in front of the apartment building.Thankfully, Violet was able to get a lift back with Anneke.
‘Is he going to be mad you let me drive his car?’It had made more sense for me to get behind the wheel so Knox could field calls from Eugene and Celeste.
‘He won’t care.I’m sure he’s focused on Alizée’s right now.’
I park parallel to where Eugene sits, arms crossed, his expression a heartbreaking mixture of sadness and fatigue.‘I’ll drop my stuff upstairs and then I’ll come and help.’
Knox pauses, his hand on the door handle.‘I’m not sure that’s a great idea.’
Oh.
Oh.
‘It’s not that I don’t want you there.But Eugene loves Alizée’s.Seeing it all trashed and damaged is going to gut him.He’s a private person.He probably won’t even let me go in with him.I promise it’s got nothing to do with you.’He kisses my cheek, his lips lingering against my skin.When he pulls back, he smiles shyly.‘Or us.’
Under different circumstances, this would be the perfect opener for the conversation that’s been running through my mind the whole way home.After everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours, where do we stand now?
And even though the timing’s terrible, it turns out I can’t stop myself from asking, ‘Us?’My voice is all scratchy and unnatural.
Knox swallows, and in my periphery I notice Eugene throw his hands in the air, making a ‘hurry up’ gesture.
‘Maybe we just enjoy “this”, whatever it is until after the run.Maybe part of giving ourselves grace is letting ourselves have fun without pressure.It doesn’t mean that this isn’t special or important.’There’s his shy smile again, hope curled into the edges of his mouth, his eyes.
‘Knox!’Eugene calls.
Yep.Now’s definitely not the time for any follow-up questions.
‘Okay,’ I whisper because pressure’s the last thing we need to add to our lives right now.
‘Yeah?’
I nod and Knox steals one last kiss.It’s nothing more than a quick press of his lips against mine, but it’s all the reassurance I need.This is happening and we’re going to figure things out later.
Caleb’s surrounded by meal-prep chaos when I get home.The kitchen counter is covered in Tupperware containers full of pumpkin soup and my favourite: a cold rice salad with currants, almonds and capsicum.‘What are you doing back so early?’he asks.
‘Knox had a thing.’I drop my duffel bag on one of the wooden stools underneath our breakfast bar.
Caleb lifts a big pot of creamy chicken and mushroom pasta off the cooktop.He even does the fancy twirling thing with thetongs as he adds it to several empty containers.When I attempt that, food goes everywhere except for where it’s supposed to.‘Did you see Knox’s thing?’His tone’s innocent but his eyes are mischievous.
‘Yes,’ I deadpan.‘Because so often when men run their dicks just fall out of their pants.’
He smirks.‘So sassy today.I knew he had a big one.’
I snatch a snow pea from the chopping board.Knox and I stopped for fuel in Harrietville and grabbed a coffee there, but neither of us were hungry.Now, I’m ravenous.‘What about what I just said makes you think Knox has a big dick?’
‘You’re looking far too relaxed for someone who spent hours running yesterday.Obviously you got some.So, tell the class.How is he in bed?’
