Page 71 of In the Long Run
She stares at the bed but doesn’t move.
‘I’ll sleep on the floor,’ I say again.
‘It’s not that.’She twists her still damp hair into a bun but doesn’t secure it with a hair tie so it flops back over her shoulders.‘I have a tendency to move around.I don’t want to disturb you.’
Consider me very happily disturbed.
She taps her chin.‘MaybeIshould sleep on the floor.’
That’s not happening.
One of the cushions I stacked next to the bed falls off the pillow mountain.‘I’ve got an idea,’ I say.Thanks to the Army, I’m no stranger to making a sandbag wall.The only difference is that tonight I’ll be using pillows.Their structural integrity leaves a lot to be desired, but needs must.
‘What are you doing?’Gen asks as I start arranging the biggest pillows into a line down the middle of the bed.
‘Reinforcing our boundaries.’I stack more pillows on top.
‘I’m sorry,’ Gen says.
‘For what?’The next line is made up of the decorative pillows that some people love but I can’t see the point of.You literally move them from the bed to the floor.Forever.
‘For being silly.’
I abandon my task, ignoring that the pillow wall’s already falling apart.If this was actually meant to keep someone out, the battle would be over in zero-point-two seconds.‘It’s fine, Gen.This is a lot.I’m well aware.’
‘I’m not used to this, you know,’ she says softly as she pulls the covers loose and switches on the bedside lamp.She’s delaying getting into bed.I’m about to offer to sleep on the flooragain– I’ll sleep in the car if that’s what it takes for her to be comfortable – when she speaks again.‘No one’s been this nice to me before.’
And hell no.This won’t do.I should be pleased that she appreciates what I’m trying to do, but my chest hurts.She deserves so much more than she’s been offered in the past.I want to kiss her goodnight and tell her to start demanding more from the people she shares her life with, but I don’t want to spook her, so I don’t.
‘Okay, let’s go to bed,’ she says.‘I’m making this more awkward than it needs to be.’
I turn off the main light and climb in on my side.The sheets are cool against my arms, the mattress firm underneath me.I open my Kindle, turn the brightness down and search for something to match my mood.
Gen makes atsk-ing frustrated sound before something thumps against the mattress.
‘What’s going on over there?’I ask.
‘I forgot to charge my Kindle.It’s fine.I’ll just go to sleep.’She shuts off her bedside lamp and the pillow wall shakes as Gen tosses and turns.She sighs loudly.
‘Gen?’
‘I can’t get comfortable.’
‘Anything I can do to help?’
‘Not from over there.’Her words are delivered softly but they burn into my skin.If I had it my way, pillows would be scattered all over the floor and our bodies would be pressed up against each other.And we certainly wouldn’t be spending the morning running.I can’t help the groan that slips past my lips.My hand slides underneath the pillow wall and I freeze when my fingers brush against hers.She snatches her hand away.
‘I’m sorry.I’m having trouble focusing on anything other than the fact that you’re right next to me.It’s making it hard to get to sleep but it’s fine.I’m fine.’
Pot, kettle.Also, it’s making other things hard too.
I bite the inside of my cheeks.Gen shifts around and more of the top pillows fall.
‘Knox,’ she whispers after what feels like an eternity but is probably not even a minute.‘Permission to breach the pillow wall?’
I’m throwing pillows off the bed before she’s even finished speaking.Gen laughs and I tuck the sound away into my memories, knowing I’m going to want to revisit it over and over.Moonlight spills through the skylight over the kitchen, mixing with the dim glow of my Kindle.All her features are softer.She’s already all rumpled and dishevelled.The urge to kiss her rises again but I’d be lying if I said it had ever gone away.
‘There you are,’ she says.
