Page 36 of In the Long Run
Knox slips his palms into the pockets of his tracksuit pants.‘For us.’
‘“Us” as in …’ I use finger quotes as an emotional crutch because my mind is ready and able to jump to conclusions.Ridiculous conclusions that I’ve spent a lot of time convincing myself I’m not interested in.
‘You and me,’ Knox confirms before clearing his throat.‘You know, to play into the hype.’
My stomach flutters.‘Like we pretend we’re together?Why?’
Knox opens and closes his mouth a few times before frowning and directing his next words to the carpet.‘More like we don’t correct people’s assumptions.Celeste reckons this could be a gamechanger, but we don’t have to do it, not if you don’t want to.It’s up to you.I’m not a fan of social media, but if it helps Alizée’s … I’ll do anything.It might also help with Brand and it could be extra promo for the gym?’
He’s got a point.Except for the fact that we’d be all over social media, which is scary.
But as long as I keep my eyes on the line between fantasy and reality, everything will be fine.Right?
14
GEN
Turns out a lot can happen in a few days.
‘I knew that video was a good idea!’Celeste says on Sunday morning as she claps her hands together happily.
‘Good might be an understatement,’ Knox mutters from where he’s attempting to hide behind me.He’s standing close enough that we look like more than running buddies, but with just enough space between us to keep everything polite – because none of this is real, I remind myself.
My commonsense says I should appreciate the reminder, but it grates like the early morning chill.
‘We better get started if we’re going to meet the half-marathoners in forty minutes,’ Knox says, his minty breath hitting the back of my neck, making all my nerves tingle.
I don’t attempt to lead the welcome brief or the warm-up.I might be able to disassociate myself from being in the spotlight on social media, but in real life, a clammy sweat coats my skin at the mere thought of saying something to all these people.Besides, the view of Knox in front of the group, his arms crossed, shoulders square, voice even and authoritative?Let’s just say, it doesn’t suck, and now I can look as much as I want without hesitation.The crowd – which is 80% female – listens with rapt attention.Anneke and Annaliese are in the middle, looking strong and ready to run,flesh and blood juxtapositions to me.I was so nervous before we left that I put my leggings on inside out twice.Thank God for side pockets, because otherwise I’d have had no idea.
‘Does anyone have any questions?’Knox asks and I realise I’ve zoned out.
‘Do you have a brother?’asks a petite brunette with a pixie cut whose sports bra and shorts combo suggests she’s decided to live a temperature-neutral lifestyle.
Knox frowns.‘No.’
‘Some of us are actually here to run,’ says a man with every type of running accessory strapped to his body.I’ll have to ask him later if he rates his hydration pack, because I need to replace mine for Brigitte’s Run.
‘Does it matter if we’re slow?’This question comes from a tall, larger woman with both of her knees strapped.
‘There’s no such thing as slow.’Knox freezes when her face falls.‘Wait.No.That’s not what I meant.Sorry.’He sends me a helpless look.
I can do this.The bonus is that this is something I feel very strongly about.
‘Your pace is your pace,’ I say, stepping up next to him.‘We’re not here to race each other.There aren’t any medals or prizes.Focus on what you need to do for your training, and don’t worry about what other people are doing.’
The woman bites her lip and nods.
‘Exactly that.’The corner of Knox’s mouth quirks up, leading the way for one of his shy smiles to grace his gorgeous face.It only lasts a few seconds, like maybe he’s still not used to doing that.Like his facial muscles still need time to adapt to the new motion.One of the ladies in the front wilts at the sight.Luckily my runners have extra stability built into the soles so I stay standing but, honestly, it’s an effort.
‘The half marathon group is starting in forty minutes, so we’ll run for twenty minutes and then turn around to come back and collect them before heading out in the opposite direction.Everyone good?’He waits for a beat or two and no one says anything.He takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling, before turning to face me.‘Lead the way, Coffeebean,’ he says with a wink.
It’s clear immediately that our plan has holes in it.Not the running bit.The kilometres tick by with an ease I wasn’t anticipating.That’ll change as our distance increases, but right now I have bigger worries.Like exactly how much attention is on us.That’s what’s leaving me short of breath, my mind a mess.
Logically, I knew three million people had seen the video.And it’s not exactly breaking news to me that Knox is a prime piece of man candy.I’ve seen his ass in his running shorts.It’s kryptonite for women – and plenty of men too, I’d imagine.
Besides, I’m used to faking things.I’ve smiled when I didn’t want to.I’ve eaten meals I didn’t like to avoid making a fuss.I’ve faked orgasms when it was clear my partner didn’t care about or want to listen to what I needed.I’ve made myself small.Become as inoffensive as I can be.
But now I’ve invited a spotlight into my life without considering what it will really entail.Our hastily cobbled together plan of ‘let’s just be in the same spot at the same time and if people think we’re doing the no-pants dance on the regular then that’s on them’ isn’t going to cut it, especially considering we’re about to go live.TikTok live, that is.Anneke has been running with us for the last half hour, sharing all her social media insight as we cruise along the Esplanade under the shade of the Norfolk pines.She offered, and it seems like too good an opportunity to pass up.
