Eloise squeezed her eyes closed. “I need you, Nate. So bad. I’m good with my pill, I promise, and I haven’t been with anyone since my last STI test.”
And that was it. Nate plunged two fingers into her, wanting to make sure she was ready because even though he was going insane with the need to fill her, he’d always promised himself that he’d never hurt her.
“I’m clear too.”
When he removed his hand, Eloise whimpered, her eyes locking on to his cock. He guided himself lower, hovering above Eloise. She lifted her hips, grabbed his ass and pulled him inside.
Nate’s brain short circuited. He genuinely couldn’t do anything other than give himself over to the sensations coursing through his body. She was tight. Exquisitely so. Snug and warm all around his dick.
He held himself still, his arms shaking with the effort. He’d wait. Make sure Eloise had adjusted before he moved. Hell, he needed a minute as well. Now that he finally had Eloise exactly where he’d been wanting her forever, thebig feelingshe’d been avoiding acknowledging were rising up, drowning out everything else.
Because this wasn’t fucking.
Or sex.
It was coming home and never wanting to leave. Being with the person he wanted to see all day, every day. Forever. Finding the missing piece he’d been searching for. This was love. And it had been for so much longer than he’d realised. The realisation hit Nate square in the chest, but he remained frozen above her. Hair fell across his forehead, and he ignored it, closing his eyes.
He loved Eloise. So damn much. He always had and always would.
Soft fingertips danced across his face, brushing the wayward strands out of the way.
“Why aren’t you moving?” Eloise whispered.
Because the façade he’d hidden behind was cracking all around him. Falling to the ground in great big chunks that landed with a resounding thump and set off an echo that sounded too much like the words ‘I told you so’. Nate blinked. Tried to stop himself from welling up.
“Hey. Come back to me. To this moment.” Eloise’s hand slipped to his cheek, and she cupped his chin, pulling him away from all his thoughts.
“Sometimes I think there’s too much between us,” she said.
This wasnotwhat Nate wanted to hear right now.
“Because of everything we are to each other. And have been. For so long now, really. I think about you so much. And what we have. It’s almost too big to put into words, and maybe this is too much, too quick …”
Panic and love waged war inside Nate as Eloise hinted at the words he was aching to voice. He opened his mouth, but she cut him off.
“… actually, it definitely is. You’re literally inside me for the first time ever, and I’m babbling about all this existential stuff. We had a deal, and I need to stop. This is me stopping. Now. I’ve stopped.” Eloise pressed her lips together, blinking furiously.
“Hey.” Nate mimicked her earlier tone and waited for her gaze to meet his. “I feel the same way.”
Eloise puffed out a “yeah?” before a coy smile pulled at her lips.
“I’ve wanted this for so long that I got a bit lost just now.” Shoulders aching from the effort of holding himself still, Nate shifted, and the motion pushed his hips forward.
Eloise’s mouth dropped open, and her hips rose to meet his. “What if we both stop overthinking this and get lost together?”
He’d known she was perfect for a long time. It had been there in all the moments he watched her at work, with her family and friends. The way she was always striving to make things better for everyone. She always had a purpose. The kind of quiet determination people found hard to question because it just made sense.
Just like being here with Eloise made sense. In a perfect world, they could make sense together forever.
But perfection wasn’t real. Nate had learnt that the hard way, long ago.
Eloise hooked her legs around his waist, drawing him in even closer. With one hand on his heart and the other one curled in his hair, Eloise urged him forward.
And Nate didn’t hesitate to follow, hips rocking, his dick plunging in and out of her tight heat.
Tomorrow. He’d catch his breath and remember their deal. Remind himself why not all dreams came true. But tonight? He’d let himself be happy. Let himself have more.
Eloise pushed up to meet him, and he was deeper, making her whimper with pleasure, her breasts all flushed and rosy. Begging to be sucked. Bitten. Nate opened his mouth, and Eloise slid her tongue past his lips and, setting a bruising rhythm that stole his breath, scrambled his brain.