Page 80 of The Story of Us
“It’s no excuse.” Eloise paused in front of him, forcing him to stop as well. When she huffed, her breath tickled his chin before she looked away.
“What?” he asked.
Eloise turned back towards him, twisting her mouth from side to side. “Nothing.”
He closed the small distance between them. Using his thumb, he tilted her face towards his. “What?” he asked again.
“Is this why?” Her arms spread wide, gesturing all around them, past the crowd of people he didn’t know but who all thought they knew him, the big tables laden down with undoubtedly expensive gifts and trays of champagne flutes. This was just like his old life.
The life he’d willingly left behind because it was too much, too stifling.
“Why what?”
Eloise dragged him off the dance floor, past the dude who slapped him on the back and yelled “Go Mustangs”. She didn’t stop until they were halfway down the path to the river-viewing pontoon, the sounds of the party fading.
“Why do you try to keep yourself small?”
How did Eloise do this? See right through him. Of course, it shouldn’t have been such a surprise that Eloise had picked up on this. They’d known each other for so long now. He’d spent years noticing everything about her, and he was starting to realise she’d been doing the same thing.
“I don’t do that.”
“You always ask people about themselves, but when anyone wants to know about you—the real you—you shut down. You make everything about other people. And if someone teases you, you never call them on it. Why do you always put yourself last? Is this why …?” Eloise pressed a hand against her chest and shook her head, looking off into the distance.
The cold night air slipped over Nate’s shoulders. “Why what?”
Light swept across Eloise’s face as she looked up at him, her curls tumbling over the shoulders of his jacket.
“Is this why we haven’t had sex yet? Because you’re worried I’m going to get too attached?”
He stepped out of the shadows into the patch of moonlight that highlighted all the pebbles and sticks on the path beneath their feet. The thought of telling Eloise the truth made his stomach roil. So, he did the one thing he’d promised himself he wouldn’t do to her, hating himself before the words even left his mouth.
He lied to her, just like all the lies he’d been telling himself.
“The only reason we haven’t had sex yet is because I didn’t want to rush you.”
Really, it was because he was already scared that he wouldn’t be able to survive watching her leave.
26
The next day, Nate was typing furiously on his laptop when the door to the Nate Space opened.
“Hey.” Eloise poked her head in.
Nate quickly saved his final draft. “You’re up early.”
“It’s after ten.”
“Oh.” He looked out the window over the sink. Dappled sunlight pierced the thick canopy of the trees surrounding his writing hut. “I must’ve lost track of time.”
“Your secret project’s going well?”
He smiled down at the screen. All was right in his make-believe world again. Writing this novel had been more cathartic than he’d ever anticipated. Although, it might’ve also had something to do with the gorgeous woman padding towards him, her big winter coat on, cheeks and nose tinged pink. Or perhaps the way she’d curled her body around his once they’d got home in the wee hours after the engagement party. She hadn’t pushed him to open up more and Nate appreciated it.
“It is.”
“Have you changed your mind about me reading it yet?”
“Nope.” A little nagging voice suggested it might be the best thing he’d ever written. Unlocking new parts of himself to give his characters a depth he’d never achieved before. This manuscript had more of his soul on the pages than ever before. Although, considering his previous stories were police procedurals and he wasn’t a serial killer, there hadn’t been a lot of opportunity to infuse those stories with too many fragments of his life and personality.
