Page 100 of The Reality of Us
“How’s your knee?” Alice asked as he sat on a painted white Adirondack chair. Her eyes darted around the area, looking everywhere but at him.
“It’s fine.”
From the corner of his eye, Owen saw her nod, her bottom lip tremble. He had to make this right. Tell her how sorry he was. “Alice, I wanted to—”
“Before you start. There’s something I have to say. I’m so sorry about what happened. I shouldn’t have done that.” She paused, her voice cracking. “Treated you that way, said those things. I hate that I sent you away when you were hurt. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done.”
He stole a glance at her when she sniffed, shaking her short hair off her cheeks.
“You deserved better. So did I,” Alice said.
Owen nodded, swallowing the lump of gravel in his throat. He’d been about to tell her the same thing.
“I’m not very good at being accountable,” she continued, her words tumbling out on top of each other. “It’s not an excuse. I know it sounds like one, but I wanted you to understand. I never have been.”
He turned towards her, unable to stop himself.
She sniffed loudly, her fringe brushing across her face as she bowed her head. “Staying with Phoenix and continuing to pretend everything was fine was the easy option because I didn’t have to admit to my mistakes. But I don’t want to pretend anymore.”
She released a shaky laugh, a crumpled tissue appearing as she dabbed at her eyes.
The urge to touch her almost tore him in two.
“I know you reached out to Dougie. And I wanted to thank you for telling him to stop. To wait for me to decide. And I saw the clips. The group one and the one that was just you. You wouldn’t believe how many people tagged me in them. Even after how I treated you, you were still looking out for me because that’s who you are.”
He tilted his chin down. He’d always want to help her, especially when he owed her so much. “I wanted to—”
“—but I’ve taken care of it. Phoenix signed the divorce papers this afternoon.”
“Really?” His fingers curled around the fleecy inside of his hoodie’s pouch.
“I made it clear I’m not going to take his crap anymore. That I was done protecting something that wasn’t real. And I took Murphy with me because he’s scared of dogs.” She laughed lightly, the sound so soft anyone else might’ve missed it, but he’d spent the last few months noticing everything about her.
“Nothing’s going to stop me now that I’m ready to fight for the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Her hair skimmed her cheeks as she stepped towards him. She pushed it away, tucking it behind her ear, the skin he’d kissed so many times.
“Honey,” slipped past his lips before he could stop it. Alice’s face pinched in pain, her shoulders drooping but she squared them and fuck, he loved her even more for the show of strength. This was hard. But she was here. Listening. If she could be brave and admit to her mistakes, he could, too. He’d spend the rest of his life apologising if she’d let him. He cleared his throat. “I wanted to explain about Camille.”
It killed him how she froze at the mention of his ex, but he ploughed on. “It’s a long story, and lots of it isn’t relevant, but when she left me all those years ago, I thought it was because I didn’t matter to her and looking back now, I can’t believe I let that influence how I’ve been living my life, keeping everyone at arm’s reach, burying myself in work, trying to solve people’s problems for them. But then I met you, and you woke up something inside of me and I’ll always be grateful to you for that. I shouldn’t have done what I did after the race either. I should’ve supported you, not tried to take over. But I was just so scared I was going to lose you. If you ever need me,” he choked out, “I’ll always be here. Okay? You just say the word.” He stared at the ground, her glittery sneakers sparkling under the outdoor lights.
“There’s something else,” she murmured, and his head snapped up. “I thought I didn’t deserve you, and I’m not one hundred per cent sure that isn’t true, but Rico asked me something the other day, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head.”
“What’d he say?”
“He asked me what you deserved, and I was like, ‘D’uh, obviously Owen deserves the world.’”
He smiled ruefully. It was all he’d ever wanted for her.
“You’re so good and true and kind, Owen. And it really doesn’t hurt that your ass looks great in your running shorts. Any pants you wear, really. And when you wear no pants? Wowsers.”
His laugh caught him by surprise, puffing out of his mouth before he knew it was happening.
When their eyes met, hers were still too watery for his liking, but there was a hint of sparkle. A sign his Alice was still there. When she bit her lip, he knew there was more.
“What else did Rico say?”
Alice looked out across the dark field in front of them. There were a few wildflowers growing along the side fence where he’d set up the tent all those months ago. His mother had called them weeds and offered to pull them out, but he hadn’t let her. He hadn’t been ready to lose the little touches of Alice at his home. Her shampoo and conditioner were still in the shower, for fuck’s sake. Owen had used his injury as an excuse to delay moving into his new house, too.
