Page 8 of Ice Cold, Red Hot
“You don’t even know me, remember? Why would you let a strange girl into your car?”
“Because it’s pouring rain and you’re freezing. I happen to live across the hall, so I know I can give you a ride home without really putting myself out.”
I knew it was the wrong thing to say the second it was out of my mouth.
“No thanks. I’d rather drown.”
Celeste kept walking, and I rolled alongside her, my irritation growing with every step she took. Why did she haveto be so bullheaded? Why couldn’t she just let me do this one thing?
“Celeste. Get in the truck.”
She stared at me. “Only if you admit it.”
I sighed. I knew what she wanted. I weighed the options, finally deciding it wouldn’t hurt anything to admit it. To admit I knew her—to admit to what had happened between us this summer. It didn’t mean anything else was going to happen.
“I remember you.” I ground the words out, and they sounded so angry it surprised even me.
Celeste’s eyes flared, and she seemed to think for a moment before finally wrenching open the door of the truck and climbing in—a sopping, wet pile of girl, shivering next to me. Still, all I could think about was how close she was, how near I was to being able to touch her again.
She smelled like summer, and my fingers fastened themselves to the steering wheel out of fear that I might instinctively reach for her. Her pull was that strong.
I pulled slowly away from the curb. Celeste spoke, almost a whisper. “You didn’t have to do this.”
“Didn’t I?”
Neither of us spoke after that, but there was a silent battle transpiring between us, and another occurring inside my body. Every instinct I had was reaching for the girl next to me, demanding that I tell her the truth:That there hasn’t been a moment since we met that I haven’t thought of her.
But I can’t tell her that. And I definitely can’t act on any feelings I might have for her.
She’s a TA in my department, and even if she weren’t in my department, being a TA makes her faculty. Relationshipsbetween students and faculty are strictly forbidden, and that goes doubly so for the captain of the hockey team.
The ride back to the apartment was torturous—Celeste, eyeing me warily from the passenger seat, mistrustful and full of anger. And me, deserving every bit of it. Not just because I knew I’d hurt her, but because I fully intended to keep doing it.
CHAPTER 5
CELESTE
As soon as school officially started, I was under water faster than I would’ve ever thought possible. My workload in the first couple of days was nearly triple what it had been as an undergrad—and not completely thanks to other people giving me work. No, a big part of that was my own doing. I had no opportunity for failure. Unlike some of the kids here, whose families could provide a safety net if their academic plans didn’t work out, I was the first in my family to go to college—definitely the first to go to grad school. And while I knew my parents would love me even if I failed, that was something I would never allow myself to do.
Shepherd’s presence continued to be both a distraction and a thorn in my side. I hated that my ears perked up every time I heard voices in the hallway, every time I heard the door across the hall open or shut.
I tried to play it off, but evidently, it came out as anger.
“What do you have against the guys on the hockeyteam?” Nat asked me one afternoon as we walked back from campus together.
“What do you mean? Nothing. I don’t care about them.” Might’ve gone a little too far in my defense there.
“Yeah, I would assume you didn’t care about them, except it seems like you really do care. Not in a good way.”
“It’s nothing. They’re just a bunch of entitled jocks who think they own the school. It’s annoying.”
Nat looked at me longer than I would’ve liked, then let out a light shrug of her shoulders. “If you say so.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just that I remember that my first crush looked a lot like hatred.”
I stopped walking and turned to my best friend. “First of all, I’m way too old for a first crush. Secondly, there is no crushing happening here. Only irritation. I’m trying to focus, and those guys are the complete opposite of focus.”
