Page 42 of Ice Cold, Red Hot
“God...”
“Don’t stop…”
It was another plane—another realm outside the pained isolation of the training room just a few moments earlier. It was paradise, surrounded by the searing flames of hell. A moment of truth floating in a tiny boat amid a raging sea of pain and betrayal.
Celeste’s hands were in my hair, pulling, fisting painfully. I pressed my forehead to hers and opened my eyes to find her watching me, her face a mask of ecstasy.
“I’m so close,” she whispered as I plunged into her, again, again.
“Oh…” her mouth formed a circle and her eyes slid shut, then flew open again, wide, pupils dilated. “Oh god.”
She held me there, trapped in the fierce grip of her hands in my hair, and I watched her unravel, our foreheads touching. And when she was done, her head pulled back and her chin lifted, and I exploded inside her, holding her against the wall as the muscles in my legs threatened to give out.
“Fuck,” I said, breathing hard. God, she felt good in my arms. For the first time in a long time, I felt like maybe my life wasn’t spinning completely out of control. “God, Celeste, I…” I wanted to tell her everything. About Ethan and the money. About my father. About the team. But I couldn’t tell her about Ethan. She was working for the guy now…It would only make her life harder.
We stayed there, pinned together in that tiny space for a long moment. And the moment unspooled and time caught up with itself again.
She pushed me away, sliding back down the wall and dressing faster than I would have thought possible.
“Celeste…” I wanted her to talk to me. Wanted to talk to her. But her next words made it impossible.
She wouldn’t look at me. “This shouldn’t have happened. This didn’t happen.”
She was right. But it didn’t make it hurt less. “Wait,” Itried, having no idea what words I’d supply to follow that one.
“No. I have to go. Goodnight, Shepherd.”
And then she was gone. I leaned against the wall, every ounce of strength in me gone. And I was still so fucking hard.
She was the only thing I really wanted. And the one thing I ruined, over and over again.
CHAPTER 20
SHEPHERD
I tried to set my face in stone as I strode through the front doors to the athletic department’s administrative offices. The phone call had been brief and clear—some secretary telling me I had a meeting here Thursday morning at nine.
There was no doubt I looked like shit. I hadn’t slept. My mind was running constant drills for which there was zero defense. I watched my future slip past me over and over… even though I’d done what they said. I had fixed it. Ethan wasn’t going to talk.
But maybe it was already too late.
I approached the desk, where some freshman looked up, clearly work study.
“Hi. I have an appointment at nine. Shepherd?—”
“Renshaw.” She grinned as she said it, her eyes going wide. I couldn’t take it today. I used to live for this kind of unwarranted fan adoration, but now? It was the last thing I needed.
“Yeah.”
She rose, never taking her too-big eyes from my face. “They’re just in here…” she walked me to the conference room door, as my mind latched onto the word she’d just said. “They’re.” So this was going to be a firing squad.
I stepped inside to find Coach Adams, Leonard Tithes who was the Assistant Athletic Director, and some guy in a suit I’d never seen before.
“Shepherd, have a seat.” Coach waved me into a chair across from the three of them.
Dad would have told me take the seat at the head of the table. The power seat. He would have refused to be made small like this. But I wasn’t Darren Renshaw. And right now? I felt about two inches tall. I sat, a heavy sigh escaping me as I did.
“Mr. Renshaw,” the man in the suit began. “I’m John Asheville, Compliance Officer for Coldwater University.”
