Page 33 of Ice Cold, Red Hot
I dropped my gaze to the floor. There was nothing to say. I’d fucked up. I was going to lose everything. Iswallowed hard and forced myself to look up. “Is there anything I can do?”
The coach shrugged. “I’m not sure, but you’d sure as hell better try.”
I nodded. “I will.”
“You’re benched until this is figured out,” Coach added, and my heart sank. “And you better not be late for practice. You’ll be working twice as hard until this is done.”
“Got it.”
He didn’t say another word, just left the apartment, the headline screaming at me from the paper he’d dropped on the counter.
“Fuck,” I muttered.
“Sums it up,” Griff agreed.
I’d swallowed a single gulp of coffee before my phone rang.
Dad.
Griff leaned over my shoulder, noting the name on the screen. “I’ll just be going now…” he disappeared back into his room, shutting the door. Even my roommate was terrified of Darren Renshaw. But I had no choice. I had to answer.
“Hi Dad.”
“What the hell did you do?” It wasn’t a greeting so much as a screaming indictment. Dad didn’t want to hear why—not that I had a good reason. He wouldn’t listen if I did. He wanted to yell, and it was my job to take it. I sealed my lips, pulled the phone away from my ear, and let him go. “Do you have any idea what’s at stake here, Shepherd? Worse, have you got any idea how this makesmelook? How about your granddad? It’s his name you play underthere. And your brother? Now he’s the player with the asshole little brother who can’t keep his head on.
“A fight? Jesus, Shepherd. I don’t even know what the hell to say.”
It seemed like he’d said it all. And he’d made it crystal clear he didn’t care about me, wasn’t interested in why I fought. I made him look bad, and that was the whole problem in his mind. He wouldn’t understand anyway, because besides hockey, he didn’t give a shit what was going on in my life.
“You gonna say anything?”
“I don’t know what to say, Dad. Sorry.”
“Yeah, sorry isn’t gonna cut it.”
“I know.”
“Do you? Do you know what it feels like to watch you throw it all away? Every chance you’ve been given?”
There was nothing to say to that.
“Fix this, Shepherd. I don’t care what it takes.”
I was about to say something, but he was already gone.
Perfect.
I sank down on the couch and let my head fall back, staring at the ceiling.
Griff and I headed to practice that afternoon with the other guys, and there was none of the usual banter, none of the antics I was used to from my teammates. If they hadn’t been there, they’d heard about it, and I couldn’t blame them for being disappointed in me. I wasn’t the captain they needed, the one they deserved.
Shit, I was the most disappointed in me of all.
I’d let a girl work her way so deep under my skin I couldn’t see what was important anymore. I was wasting everything I’d lived for up to this point, and for what?
Celeste and I didn’t have a future. She was my TA for one thing, and a distraction for another. This should never have been a question, let alone an issue. Why couldn’t I just let it go?
That very reason stood outside the door to the rink, chewing on her bottom lip as we all approached, gear slung over our shoulders and jaws set. She was literally the last thing I needed right now.
