Page 29 of Ice Cold, Red Hot
“No, uh… It’s fine. Hi.”
“Hi,” he said moving toward me and bending down to kiss my cheek before taking the chair at the side of my desk. “Got a minute? I’ve been meaning to talk to you, but you’ve been hard to pin down this week.”
“Oh, yeah. I’ve just been really busy.”
“No worries.” Ethan gave me his easy smile and I thought about what Shepherd had said. This guy really was an open book. Stable, smart. Why couldn’t I summon an ounce of desire for him?
“So what’s up?” I asked.
“I have an opportunity for you.”
I braced myself, uncertain whether this was going to an opportunity relating to our relationship—if you could call it that—or to our work in the psychology department.
“Okay,” I said, attempting to sound noncommittal.
“A research assistant position just opened up,” he said. “One of my master’s students accepted a fellowship and is stepping away from the lab next month.”
I sat up a little straighter. “Oh.”
“It’s paid,” he added. “Funded by the grant, of course. Flexible hours. And honestly? I’d like someone sharp to step in—someone I can trust. You’ve already proven you’re capable. I think you’d be a good fit.”
I blinked at him, surprised. “You want me?”
His smile deepened. “I do. I actually emailed you the offer a few minutes ago.”
My heart thudded, and not in a good way. Not in the Shepherd way.
“You’ve got a great academic profile. And your background in cognitive psych would be a real asset in the bias and attention study we’re launching.” He paused, watching me. “It’s the kind of role that opens doors. If you’re thinking long-term—doctoral programs, publishing, networking—this is the kind of experience that’ll move you ahead of the pack.”
I felt the compliment settle uncomfortably in my chest.
“What about my TA assignment?” I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral.
“You could technically keep it, but I’d recommend switching over fully,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “You’d be working directly under me, and I’d rather you have the bandwidth to focus on the lab. Fewer hours grading, more hours doing actual research. We’d make sure your funding carries over. Might even be a bump.”
Of course.
It made sense. Rational, practical, strategic.
And if it meant stepping away from the class I was TA’ing—from him—then maybe that was the responsible thing to do.
I looked down at the stack of papers on my desk, none of them blurring into anything meaningful anymore.
This was why I was here. For opportunities like this. For advancement, for progress, for a future that didn’t depend on anyone else.
I needed to say yes.
So why was I struggling? Was it because if I said yes, it would remove the most obvious reason for me to avoid Shepherd? For me to want him?
“I’ll think about it,” I said, finally looking up.
Ethan nodded. “Take your time. Look over the offer. Just let me know before midterms.”
He rose smoothly, and before leaving, dropped a light touch to my shoulder. “I’m glad we’re getting to know each other. In and out of work.”
I stared at Ethan for a long beat, realizing everything was a bit too intertwined. It felt…unprofessional. “Ethan?”
He turned away from the door he’d just pulled open. “Yeah?”
