Page 17 of Ice Cold, Red Hot
Nat nodded, her eyes locked on my face. “And how are you feeling about Mr. PhD?”
“He’s a good guy,” I told her. He was. “He’s mature and reliable, steady…”
“Super into you,” Nat pointed out.
“Yeah.” He was. He’d told me that point blank the first time he’d asked me out. He said all the things I was supposed to want to hear. And yet…
“You’re not into him.”
“I’m working on it.”
Nat put her coffee cup down hard, and light brown liquid splashed over the surface of the table. “It’s not supposed to be work, CeeCee. If you don’t like him, cut him loose.”
“I do like him. He’s perfect for me.” Even I didn’t hear any conviction in my words. But he was perfect. On paper. And I thought maybe if I gave my heart enough time to catch up to my head, I’d feel… something.
“And Shepherd?”
I widened my eyes at her. “What about him?”
“Is he perfect for you?” She grinned. I still hadn’t told her how I knew Shepherd, but I felt like I probably should.
“He’s the opposite. Rich and entitled, dumb jock, only cares about himself and hockey.” I knew it wasn’t all true, even as I said the words. “Plus, I TA for his section. It would be totally unethical for us to date.” That much was totally true.
“There are workarounds,” Nat said, looking far too excited about the idea of Shepherd and me together.
“Look, there’s something you don’t know,” I told her. And then? I told her everything. By the time I finished describing the relationship and connection I’d had with Shepherd for one week this summer, my best friend was lying in the middle of the living room floor, staring at the ceiling and grinning.
“That. Is. So. Fucking. Romantic.”
“What? That he ghosted me?”
“No, not that part.” She sat up and sighed, her hands over her heart. “The rest! The sunset boat ride? He brought you a blanket and picnic basket? And sneaking you away early in the morning before your shift so you could have waffles together just because you told him about that amazing waffle place?”
“Yeah, that was all good. But now I know it wasn’t him. It was an act.”
Nat frowned at me. “Good point. That doesn’t sound like the Shepherd I know. You’re sure it was him?”
I thought about the shape of his body, the muscular shoulders I had to work to keep my eyes from tracingevery time I saw him on campus. The way his hips moved… “It was him. I don’t think I could forget if I wanted to.”
“Wow.” Nat flopped back again. “It’s like Romeo and Juliet.”
“With a lot less suicide hopefully,” I said.
“No wonder he can’t stay away from you,” she said.
“You can’t tell anyone about this,” I reminded her. “And you can’t interfere.”
Her mouth dropped open and she widened her eyes. “Me?”
“You.”
“Fine. But I’m going to make you describe some of that again for me later on.”
“No. Reliving it once was enough.”
“Speak for yourself.” Nat got to her feet and picked her pack up off the floor. “Gotta run. I’ve got class. See you tonight!”
After Nat headed out, I sat at the table for a long time, letting the memories I’d shared with her flood my mind. Shepherd’s smile, those dark eyes full of something that seemed a lot like adoration… but that was all over now. I made myself picture Ethan’s face instead.
