Page 54 of Triplet Babies
I file away every detail and build a clearer picture of the man who hurt her, who is controlling, possessive, and systematic in his abuse. He’s the type of predator who sees women as property rather than people. I meet her gaze across the table. “You’re safe now.”
She holds my gaze but looks skeptical. “Am I? You’re still engaged to Katya. This thing between us, whatever it is, has an expiration date.”
The words sting because they’re true. I’ve been avoiding the reality of my situation and living in a fantasy where I can have both Sarah and the Nikitin alliance. Choices have consequences though, and mine are catching up with me. I set down my glass carefully. “The engagement is complicated.”
She leans back in her chair. “So you’ve said.”
I study her face, noting the tightness around her mouth. She’s beautiful, but more than that, she’s brave. She’s sitting here having dinner with a man whose hands are stained with blood, whose world is built on violence and deception, and she’s not running.
I choose my words carefully. “I’ve been thinking about the future.”
She tilts her head. “What about it?”
“About what I want it to look like. The kind of life I want to build.”
She settles back in her chair, and I see her defenses rising. “What do you want?”
The honest answer is sitting across from me, wearing sapphire silk and looking at me like I might break her heart. I can’t saythat when I don’t know how to make it real. “I want to feel like myself again. The way I felt before my parents died, and I became responsible for everyone and everything.” I pause. “The way I feel when I’m with you.”
Something shifts in her expression, with hope warring with caution. “Yarik...”
“I know it’s not fair to ask you to wait while I figure out how to untangle myself from the Nikitins. You deserve better than stolen moments and secrets.”
She leans forward. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I want to try to find a way to make this work and build something real with you.” I reach across the table and take her hand. “I need time though.”
She stares at our joined hands for a long moment. “How much time?”
“I don’t know. Months, maybe.” She flinches when I say that. “The Nikitins don’t forgive betrayal easily, and ending the engagement will be seen as exactly that.”
Pain flickers across her face. “In the meantime, I’m what? Your secret? Your mistress?”
The pain in her voice makes me want to cross the table and pull her into my arms. “You’re the woman I want to build a future with.”
The admission hangs between us, more honest than I intended to be. Sarah’s eyes fill with tears, and I realize I’ve said both too much and not enough.
She starts to rise. “I should go.”
I catch her wrist before she can stand. “Stay. Please.”
She looks down at my hand on her wrist. “Why? So we can pretend this is sustainable? So I can keep falling deeper in love with a man who belongs to someone else?”
I tighten my grip gently. “I need you to know this matters. You matter, and I’m going to find a way to make it right.”
She searches my face and looks for something I hope she finds. Finally, she settles back into her chair. She nods slowly. “Okay. I won’t wait forever though. I can’t.” There’s an odd inflection to her tone as she drops a hand to her lap under the table.
I release her wrist and lean back. “I wouldn’t ask you to.”
We finish dinner in contemplative silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts. When the candles have burned low, I walk her to the door. I want to ask her to stay with me, but it feels selfish after everything I’m already asking for from her. I stop her before she can leave. “Thank you for listening and giving me a chance.”
She rises on her toes and kisses me softly. “Don’t make me regret it.”
After she walks into the hallway, I sit alone in the darkened dining room, staring at the dying embers in the fireplace. I’ve made promises I’m not sure I can keep and declared intentions that might get us both killed, but for the first time in twenty years, I want something more than survival. I want a future worth living, and Sarah is the only one who makes that feel possible.
I just need to figure out how to make it happen while ensuring my enemies don’t get an advantage, and we both live long enough to enjoy a life together.
I’m contemplating my next move when Sarah suddenly reappears in the doorway. I look at her hopefully. “Is there something wrong?”
