Page 32 of Triplet Babies
I follow her down a hallway lined with educational posters about prenatal care and family planning, my stomach churning for reasons that have nothing to do with morning sickness, at least for the moment.
Dr. Martinez is a woman in her fifties with warm brown eyes and a gentle manner that immediately puts me at ease. She asks routine questions about my symptoms, my last menstrual period, and my sexual activity, all of which I answer honestly despite using a false identity.
She types notes into her computer before speaking to me again after a brief silence. “Based on what you’ve told me, I’d like to run a pregnancy test and do a quick exam if you’re comfortable with that.”
I nod, though my mouth has gone dry. “How accurate are the tests?”
“Very accurate when you’re experiencing symptoms like yours. We can have results in just a few minutes.”
The blood draw is quick and relatively painless, but the waiting feels eternal. I sit in the examination room staring at pamphlets about prenatal vitamins and birth control options, trying to prepare myself for either outcome while knowing deep down what the answer will be.
When Dr. Martinez returns, her expression is kind but professional. “Congratulations, Sarah. You’re pregnant. Based on your last menstrual period, I’d estimate you’re about ten weeks along.”
The words are a shock even though I’ve suspected for days. Ten weeks. I count backward in my head, trying to pinpoint conception. It could have been that first night in his suite, or anyof the dozen times since when we got caught up in the moment and forgot to use protection.
“Are you all right?” Dr. Martinez studies my face with concern. “This can be overwhelming news.”
I wrap my arms around my stomach, suddenly hyperaware of the life growing inside me. “I’m fine. Just processing.”
“That’s completely normal. Would you like to discuss your options?”
“Options?”
She rolls the stool closer as she sits down. “You have choices about how to proceed. We can talk about prenatal care if you’re planning to continue the pregnancy, or I can provide information about other alternatives if you’re not ready for this.”
The clinical way she presents the alternatives makes me realize I need time to think. This isn’t a decision I can make sitting in a doctor’s office while still reeling from the confirmation. “I need to think about it.”
“Of course. Here’s some information to take with you.” She hands me several pamphlets then writes something on a notepad with the clinic’s heading. “This is my sister’s practice. She’s an ob-gyn, and she’d be happy to take care of you if you decide to continue.”
The name on the notepad says Dr. Ranick and has a phone number. I take the materials with hands that shake slightly, stuffing them into my purse so no one will see them when I’m back in the waiting room.
Nina is waiting in the same seat she occupied before, and she gestures me to follow her to the parking lot, where she leans against the car and arches an expectant brow. “Well?”
I slump next to her, trying to find words for something I still can’t quite believe. “Ten weeks.”
Her face cycles through several emotions before settling on fierce protectiveness. “Okay. How are you feeling about it?”
“Terrified. Confused. Overwhelmed.” I clench my hands around my purse strap. “I don’t know what to do, Nina.”
“Do you want to be a mother?”
The question short-circuits my brain for a second. In all my spiraling thoughts about Yarik and the engagement and what this means for our relationship, I haven’t actually considered what I want. “I don’t know. Maybe. Someday.” I lean against the car beside her. “Just not like this.”
“Like what?”
“Pregnant by a man who’s engaged to someone else. A man whose world I don’t understand and who might not even want children. Or at least children fathered by his side piece.”
She frowns. “You aren’t his side piece. I don’t know all the circumstances, but you wouldn’t be with him if you were just a fling.”
I shrug. “Maybe I would. He makes me feel safe but look where that’s gotten me.” Safe and a million other emotions I can’t articulate, and the sex… I look down, not sure I occupy any moral high ground anymore. I have a sinking feeling I’d be with him even if he were married to Katya.
Nina is quiet for a moment, letting me process. “Have you talked to him about kids?”
I jerk my head up in surprise. “No, of course not. It never came up. We’ve been so focused on keeping things private and not thinking about the future that we’ve never discussed anything permanent.”
She looks vaguely disappointed but puts her arm around my shoulders. “Sarah, you have to tell him.”
The thought makes my stomach clench again. “Do I? What if he decides the pregnancy is too complicated and ends things? What if he marries Katya, and I become some pathetic mistress with a baby she’s trying to use to break up a marriage?”
