Page 99 of Playboy Pitcher
“I guess we’re more alike than we ever thought.” He smiles, and my heart stutters. “You’re kind of amazing, Willow McBaine.”
No, I’m not. If I was, I’d let you see all the ugly.
I nod and smile. It’s all I can do, because anything else would be deliberately breaking his rules, and I’m bending them enough as it is. I wish he’d hate me. I wish he’d look at me like I’m a freak and want nothing more from me than a payout.
It’d be so much easier.
We start walking back, the comfortable silence from before filling the night sky. Every so often, I steal a glance at him, memorizing the contentment on his face and snapping a picture to tuck away for later.
Just before we reach the door, he reaches in his pocket and pulls out something shiny. Clearing his throat, he pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek in hesitation. “It’s not handmade, but it’ll do.” He opens his hand to reveal a ring sitting in the middle of his palm.
It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen, a silver band with red baseball stitching woven into the metal. I stare up at him, eyes wide. “Where did you get this?”
He shrugs, a small grin pulling at the corner of his mouth. “I know a guy.” When I don’t move, he lifts my left hand and slips it on my third finger. “We have to keep up appearances, right?”
“Right,” I breathe, rubbing my thumb along the underside of my finger.
He tips my chin. “I’m leaving tomorrow.” When I blink up at him in surprise, he smiles. “The team is away tomorrow in Port St. Lucie playing the Mets. How about a kiss for luck from my wife?”
Pressing my palms against his chest, I lean into him, absorbing the scent of grass and leather, letting it imprint in my mind. The man who possesses me every chance he gets, dominating my body and then leaving it spent and marked, glances toward the door out of the corner of his eye and lightly dusts his lips to mine.
I never knew raw passion could exist in one chaste touch.
I close my eyes and try not to think past this moment. Past right now. Past this feeling. I’ve learned never to count on tomorrow, so I’ll live for today, soaking it in and stretching it into all my tomorrows, even if they just exist in my mind.
With one more devastating kiss, Ben leaves with a promise to call as soon as the team gets to the hotel. I never knew it was possible to feel so euphoric and miserable at the same time.
By the time I make it back to the door, Emma is standing there wearing a smirk the size of Texas. “What are you looking at?” I mutter.
“You’re in love,” she says in a sing-songy voice.
“Enough with this.” Brushing past her, I head toward the staircase. When she calls after me, her tone is completely different.
“Will, before Ben got here, you said you didn’t introduce us because you didn’t want me getting attached to a temporary situation.”
I stop, my spine stiffening. “So?”
“You really don’t see it, do you?”
“See what?”
“You’ve been using me as a shield. It was never about protecting me. It was about protecting yourself. It’s not me you’re scared of getting hurt. It’s you.” Pushing past me, she stomps up the stairs.
“Em…”
Halfway up, she spins around, tears brimming in her eyes. “I’m tired of running, Will. I’m done hiding. I want a real life. Real friends. A real home. Lie to yourself all you want, but you want it too. I know you do.”
“You don’t think I’m tired too? I’d give anything for you to have a normal life, but there are things you don’t understand.”
“God, I am so sick of hearing about things I don’t understand!” she shouts, stomping her foot. “I don’t understand because you won’t tell me. You’re my sister, Will. I love you. But you’re like this sealed vault nobody can break. You can’t keep demanding blind trust from people without giving it back.”
Trust.Her accusation carves the word right into my chest. I know she’s right, and I’m trying, but after a lifetime of running, my legs don’t know how to kneel.
“I’m scared,” I whisper.
“News flash, we’re all scared.” With tears now freely flowing down her cheeks, she stumbles back down the steps until she’s standing one above me. “But you and me? We’re a team, and we’re stronger when we’re scared together. Ben too. That man loves you, Willow. So, you better get past this self-destructive tendency, or you’re going to lose the best thing that’s ever happened to us.”
Chapter Thirty
