Page 77 of Faded Gray Lines
Naïve girl. She knew my identity now, but apparently not the man I’d become. A Carrera never left a debt unpaid, especially one owed in blood. However, I’d let her have her false peace.
For tonight.
She moved toward me. “You asked me to trust you. Trust me when I say you don’t want to know.”
I grabbed her wrist and held it between us. “Trust is dangerous.” Before lust got the better of me, I loosened my grip and walked away.
“You trust Brody,” she called after me. “You’ve let him inside your precious circle.”
My laughter wasn’t from amusement. “And it’s almost gotten him killed twice. This isn’t a game, Leighton. This is real life with real guns and real death. I’m not a hero. We’re just villains. We do bad things and don’t give a shit if people get hurt. Is that what you want?”
I waited—for what, I wasn’t sure. A smack across the face? The slam of the door as she walked out of it? Either would’ve been justified.
She did neither. She stood her ground.
“We don’t have a choice,” she said, wringing her hands.
We? What the hell did she mean, we?
I had her face in my hands before I realized I’d moved. “Everybody has a choice, little lamb. Making it is the easy part. Accepting it is what gets people killed.”
A tear escaped the tightly locked fortress of her eye and slipped down the back of my hand. “But you’re still alive.”
It wasn’t as much of a statement as a challenge.
“I accepted my choice a long time ago,” I said, answering with a cold detachment needed to make her understand. “You don’t retire from my world—you expire from it. Usually at the hands of your worst enemy or your best friend.”
“Doesn’t sound like much of a life.”
“Says the girl hiding out in a cartel safe house with a drug runner.”
She nodded, a breathy chuckle blowing over my knuckles. “Point taken.”
Biting her lip, she glanced down to where the pads of my fingers still pressed into her face. Not hard enough to hurt her, though. As much as a killer’s soul pumped through my veins, so did she.
But she didn’t belong in a killer’s world.
Letting go, I stalked to the window and stared out at the deserted street below. When I managed to reclaim a sense of clarity, I braced myself for what had to be done. It crippled me to hurt her but allowing someone as fragile as her into my world would cripple us both.
“I asked you why you really wanted to run away with me for a reason, Leighton, and, God help me, I think I have my answer. I’ll rectify what’s been wronged, but everything has changed. If I hadn’t gotten arrested, I would’ve turned my back on all I knew for you, but it would’ve been a mistake.” Holding onto the window frame, I glanced over my shoulder and held her stare. “You did us both a favor by leaving.”
Twenty-Six
Leighton
Mateo’s admissionwas like a punch in the stomach. “How can you say that?”
I didn’t want to believe it. Although I’d held onto years of anger at being abandoned, some part of me still held out hope that somewhere he regretted walking away. I imagined the two of us meeting again—maybe by chance, maybe by fate, but always with an apology.
Not this.
He let out a breath, the little line between his eyebrows deepening. “Leighton, when you asked me to leave with you, I agreed because I thought the reason was me. I thought all the secrecy had finally gotten to you and you wanted to leave everything behind for me. To be withme.” He slammed his palm over his chest, bitterness in his tone.
“I did!”
“No,mi amor, you didn’t. You wanted me to be your escape. You knew I’d fight to the death for you.” He paused, his expression a mix of allegation and pain. “I think you counted on it.”
I avoided his eyes. If I didn’t, I was afraid he’d see the truth. “You’re wrong. I loved you.”
