Page 20 of Bad to the Bone
Chapter Eleven
RICKYLee hesitated before answering, making Alex wonder if there were things he’d prefer not to share. He’d been honest about his failures, and he hoped Ricky Lee knew he wouldn’t judge him in turn. Before he could say that, though, Ricky Lee started to speak.
“I meant it when I said being sent to Lawton was the best thing that ever happened to me. Second best, anyway,” he amended. “You know my life at home was pretty crappy, but I don’t think you know just how bad it really was.
“When my mom was still alive, things were better. She worked as a hostess in one of the restaurants at Wind River Casino—that’s where Billy Joe met her. I guess he could still pass for a decent human being at that point, at least when he wanted to. For whatever reason, when he proposed to her, she accepted.
“He told me later that he’d heard about some Native tribe back east where the members were each getting hundreds of thousands of dollars a year from casino revenues. He thought by marrying my mom, he’d get a piece of that. It wasn’t until after they were married and I was on the way that he found out the actual distributions she got were more along the lines of a thousand dollars a year. He was so pissed, he cut her off from her family. Wouldn’t let her have any contact with them at all. He sure as hell wasn’t going to have any son of his raised as a half-breed.
“Even so, her salary was enough to let him stop working—don’t get me started on the doctor who signed off on his so-called ‘permanent disability’—and live off the money she brought in. At least until she got sick herself.”
Ricky Lee fell silent, and without thinking Alex reached out and covered his hand with his own. He’d known Ricky Lee’s mother had died of pancreatic cancer the summer before he and Ricky Lee met, though Ricky Lee had never shared many details, and Alex hadn’t wanted to make him feel worse by asking about it. “I’m sorry I was never able to meet her.”
“She would have liked you.” Ricky Lee shook his head. “Anyway, after that things got bad fast. The survivor benefits were a lot less than her salary, though somehow there was always enough money for cigarettes and booze. I don’t think you know how grateful I was for how often your parents fed me dinner and the way your mom packed twice as much lunch as you’d ever eat so you could ‘share’ it with me.”
“It wasn’t charity,” Alex insisted. “I never would have passed geometry or trig without you tutoring me. Inviting you to stay for dinner after you’d spent two hours coaching me was the least we could do.”
“You must have managed calculus without me senior year.”
“Only because of all the math concepts you managed to beat into my head before that.”
Ricky Lee’s smile seemed forced. “Spending time at your house was a mixed blessing, because it just pointed out how fucked-up my own home life was. You know that as soon as I was old enough—meaning I looked like I might be legal, not that I was—he had me buying his booze and smokes for him. He wanted me to get a job, but I knew he’d just drink up any money I brought in. He took his belt to me over it more than a few times, until I got big enough to stand up to him. And when I told him I was gay… I think he would have kicked me out, except then he’d have lost my benefits too.”
Alex found that his hands had clenched into fists under the table. Ricky Lee had never been one to complain, but had he really been that blind? “I had no idea it was that bad. If I’d known….”
“I didn’t want anyone to know. I had that much pride, at least.” He held Alex’s gaze, his dark eyes somber. “You and your family did so much for me. And I decided I wasn’t going to let him or anyone else make me ashamed of who I was. I might not have been able to lay into him the way I wanted to, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to take any crap from Odell or JC or anyone else.”
All the fights Ricky Lee had gotten into were a lot more understandable now. “I wish I could have done more.”
“You did more than your share. That’s why I wasn’t going to let Odell ruin your life when you hadn’t done anything but let me kiss you.” Ricky Lee took a sip of water, and Alex watched his throat muscles work as he swallowed. “But getting sent to Lawton really did work out for the best.
“Every student there was assigned a mentor, and I was lucky to get Mr. Porter. He taught me a lot about controlling my temper and working through my anger by working out. And he was as much of a math geek as I was. He’d find these math challenges I could compete in, and he got me enrolled in computer programming classes because he said they required the same logical thinking. I never thought I could afford college, but he talked about the schools with the best math and computer science programs and convinced me to send in applications. Because of him, I got a full scholarship to the University of Washington in Seattle.”
Ricky Lee’s intelligence had more than a little to do with it too, Alex was sure. “So that’s how you ended up on the West Coast.”
“It was a real culture shock in the beginning, let me tell you. But attitudes in general are much more accepting there. I can be open about who I am without always having to fight to defend it.”
Alex could understand that, even if it meant dealing with Ricky Lee living half a country away. “So is your degree in math?”
“Double major, math and computer science. Despite being able to tutor you, I don’t have the patience to be a teacher, and Mr. Porter was adamant that it would be easier to make a living in programming than in pure mathematics.”
“He must be very proud of you.”
Ricky Lee’s jaw tightened. “He was. He flew out to Washington for the graduation, but he passed away a year later. He never got to….”
“I’m sorry,” Alex said with all the sincerity he hadn’t been able to muster for Ricky Lee’s father. “I’m glad you had someone like him in your life, though.”
Ricky Lee met his eyes again. “Thank you.”
“So you’re working as a computer programmer now?” Alex asked after a moment. “What company are you with?”
Ricky Lee’s gaze shifted away and then back before he answered. “Polynomial Software.” He watched Alex closely, as if the name should mean something to him, but Alex had never heard of it.
“And Crae works there with you?” He’d still feel better if he knew exactly what the relationship was between the two of them.
“Crae is—”
Before Ricky Lee could finish, Señor Iñiguez appeared at the table with their bill. “Lo siento, señores….”
