Page 78 of Various Intentions
“That’s a difficult thing to learn, sometimes, for an open, trusting person.”
“Yes, it is. I’ve wasted so much time. He was very restrictive. Leaving him wasn’t an impulse decision, you know. There was no marriage left by the time I found out I was pregnant. It was time. You know, I gave up all my friends for him—as well as my father, although I didn’t realize I was being lied to. I was lucky to have friends who were pleased to hear from me and helped me when I asked, even though they hadn’t heard from me for a very long time.”
“Good friends will stand by you.”
She nodded, watching Matteo and Vincent horsing around in line. Vincent had picked up a handful of snow and shoved it against Matteo’s neck. They struggled, laughing, as Matteo tried to get him back.
“And fathers. Even when you break their hearts,” she said.
I reached out and put my gloved hand on her arm. She covered it with her own. For Matteo to pretend that his only daughter had never existed showed how much he’d been hurt. But it hadn’t been Zarah’s fault, in the end.
“You’re so young, Zarah. Matteo is nothing if not loyal…and protective of those he loves. He would kill for you.”
Zarah swallowed. “I know he would. He won’t need to.”
“You don’t think Dennis will do anything stupid? Now that you’ve left him?”
Zarah looked exhausted all of a sudden. “I don’t think he cares that much, now that I’m gone.” She gave me a somber look. “Even if he found out about the baby, I don’t think he’d care. In fact, he wouldn’t want the trouble of it.”
“I’m so sorry.”
She shrugged. “No, it’s better this way. I want a new life. I don’t want anything to hold me back.”
I returned my gaze to Vincent and Matteo. Vincent looked in our direction. I gave him a thumbs up. He smiled and turned back to Matteo, whispering in his ear.
“Oh fuck, they’re conspiring.” I gestured to them, and Zarah laughed.
“You are lovely together…all of you.”
“We’re a lot to take on.”
“No, you’re not.” Zarah touched her belly over the wool coat she wore. “I’m so glad to be getting to know you. And at least Dennis gave me something of value.”
“You’re much braver than I would be in the same circumstances.”
“Thank you. That means a great deal, because you seem very brave.”
I laughed, tucking my skates under the bench and sitting up straighter, gazing at her with raised eyebrows. “Because I came out to the canal, when I can’t skate for shit?”
“Exactly.”
We sat together in silence, soaking up the sunshine, until the others returned with our drinks and snacks.
“Getting to know each other?” Matteo asked as he passed Zarah her hot chocolate and gave me my coffee.
“Yep. Your daughter is delightful, Matteo. I’m glad she found her way back to you,” I said, as Vincent passed Zarah her Beavertail.
“Careful, it’s hot. And the lemon juice runs sometimes,” he said.
“Oh, I know how to eat one of these. I remember.” Zarah met Matteo’s gaze. “Dad used to bring me here all the time.”
Matteo smiled. “Yes, I did.”
“Mom wasn’t very outdoorsy. But as soon as the canal opened each year, Dad would take me skating. And we’d go as often as we could,” she said, taking a bite of her sugary treat. “Does Taylor skate?”
“I think so,” Vincent said.
“We should bring him next time,” Zarah asserted.
